Hot as Hall

Chapter Twenty Eight

When I wake up to pounding on my door, my heart immediately stops. The break in from the other night is heavy on my mind and I can't help but think that whoever is at the door has come back to finish the job.

My mind tells me to get up and go hide somewhere, but my body is frozen, ducking underneath the covers and cowering away. The pounding is deafening, and it feels like it's only getting louder. A few seconds go by before I realize there is someone calling my name, and it's a voice I recognize.

"Zoe!"

This is no burglar. It's Tanner, and he's standing on my doorstep.

"Zoe, it's me! Open up!"

Half annoyed, half giddy with excitement, I reach for my satin robe and pull it tightly around me as I make my way down the stairs. His pounding and yelling gets more frantic with each step I take, and I start to worry something is really wrong. Is he okay? Are the boys?

"Tanner?" I slip the lock, opening the door for him. "What are you doing here?"

"I meant what I said earlier, Zoe." He blurts out. "I am falling in love with you. And I don't know what exactly Gwen said to you, but there is absolutely no chance that the two of us could ever get back together. That's been over for a long time, and you are the only one I care about. I think we have a really great thing going here, and I'll be damned if I let Gwen's antics get in the way of that."

Tanner talks so fast that it takes me a minute to process what he is saying. He's worked himself into an absolute frenzy as he paces back and forth on my front porch, as disheveled as I have ever seen him. His thick, dark hair is a mess, and he's exhausted, completely out of breath. He's in the same suit pants from the fundraiser and his white dress shirt is halfway unbuttoned, his bare chest glistening with sweat in the moonlight.

By now, his commotion has drawn a crowd and I can see a few of my neighbors watching from their windows. "Why don't you come inside?" I suggest, widening the doorway for him.

Thankfully, he agrees, and I sheepishly wave my neighbors off, hoping that they aren't too upset that we woke them up at two o'clock in the morning.

Tanner follows me into the kitchen as I turn a few lights on. "Can I get you something to drink? Water? Whiskey?" I suggest, trying to lighten the mood.

"Water would be great." Tanner smiles gently and takes a seat at my kitchen island. When I hand him the glass, he nearly finishes it in one gulp. "You must think I am absolutely insane."

"I mean... I am wondering why you thought this was the best time to show up at my door, bang on it like you're trying to break in, wake all my neighbors up and profess your love to me, but I don't know if I'd call it insane." I reach across the island and set my hand on top of his, a sympathetic smile on my lips. I don't like fighting with Tanner, if that's what you can even call what happened tonight, and truthfully, I've never been so relieved to see him.

"You forgot the part where I ran here." Tanner rubs his forehead, letting out a sharp laugh.

"You ran here? From your house?" Well, that certainly explains all the sweat and heavy breathing.

He nods. "I had to talk to you. Zoe, I have no idea why Gwen told you that there was any possibility that she and I might get back together. Honestly, there isn't a chance in hell for me that that could happen. It's been over for years, and I'm sorry if you thought differently. Or if she told you differently. Or if I gave you any indication differently."

"I think this is partly my fault." I bite my lip. This wasn't exactly how I envisioned having the Zane conversation with Tanner, but now feels like the right time.

"No," Tanner shakes his head, chuckling. "I think you're the only person who isn't at fault in this situation."

"Well, why don't you hear what I have to say and then you can make that assessment?" I insist, taking a sip of water. It takes me a second to figure out where to start. Memories flood my mind as I search for the right words. It feels like yesterday and an entire lifetime ago all at once. "When I was in Africa, I met a guy. He was on the medical team and we started spending a lot of time together, and eventually we fell in love. He asked me to marry him, and I said yes, and we were weeks away from having a small, intimate wedding on a South African beach."

Tanner is stunned. "What happened?"

"I found out that he had been lying to me the entire time we were together. He had a wife and two children back in the United States, and he never once mentioned them. I only found out because there was a picture stashed in his bedroom and I came across it one day." I suck in a sharp breath, my throat tightening as a visceral memory takes over. It's so fresh I can almost smell the earthy scent of that canvas hut, feel the thick, mud-stained paper of the photograph in my fingers. Those faces will be burned into my mind forever.

"Oh my god, Zoe." Tanner squeezes my hand, sweeping his thumb across the back of it as I continue my story.

"When I confronted him about it, he acted like I was the one in the wrong for snooping in his room. He was so indifferent about the whole thing that for a while, I thought I was going crazy. Then, one day, he came to me and he told me he was going home. He said he was sorry, but he wanted to try to work things out with his wife and that he didn't want this thing between us to stand in the way."

"Stand in the way." He repeats.

I nod. "I know that your situation is nothing like that, but earlier when I was talking to Gwen, she used those exact words and I just... I guess it all just came flooding back. I couldn't separate one from the other and I panicked. I have carried so much guilt the last several months about breaking a family apart that when Gwen suggested there might be a chance for the two of you..."

"Zoe, please stop." Tanner cuts me off, coming around the island and wrapping his arms around me. As he holds me against his chest, the smell of his cedar cinnamon cologne fills my nose and I nestle into him, letting him comfort me. My body melts into his, and before he even speaks, my worries are washed away.

"I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. Any person who can look into those beautiful eyes and lie to you is not a man, and he deserves to rot in hell. You deserve to be treated like a queen, and it rips my heart up to know that anyone gave you any less." He presses a gentle kiss to my forehead, lingering for just a few seconds. "And you're right, our situation is nothing like that, but I can see how it could feel like it was. I can promise you, Zoe, you are not standing in the way of anything as far as Gwen and I are concerned. We had our run, and I want nothing to do with that ever again. I love her as the mother of my boys, but that's where it stops. There is nothing romantic there at all anymore, and I'm sorry if I wasn't more clear about that. To you and to her."

Tanner's words fill my entire soul as he puts a finger to my chin and tilts up. "I swear to you that, even if you weren't in the picture, there is no way we would be getting back together. Our family works just the way it is, and the boys don't need a traditional two-parent household to know how loved they are."

Tears pool in my eyes. I want to look away and compose myself, but Tanner won't let me. "I'm falling in love with you, Zoe, and every moment we spend together just gets better. You're the first person I think of in the morning and every night, I drift off to sleep to dreams of you. I don't care if that sounds crazy, but it's how I feel about you, and I hope it's how you feel, too."

"It is, Tanner. I'm falling in love with you, too." I blurt out. The words feel strange at first, but I can't help but smile as they roll off of my tongue. I was so guarded after Zane that I never imagined that I could feel this way again, but something about Tanner makes me feel safe. Something about him makes me want to try.

He scoops me into his protective arms, ravishing my lips with a hungry kiss. "I was hoping you'd say that."