Hot as Hall

Chapter Forty Four

Zoe

When I pulled into the police station, an overwhelming sensation of dread hit me like a wave. I started the morning so optimistic, but along the way something changed. The same heaviness and anxiety that's been hanging over me for days is back, and it's suffocating. It's got me frozen in my car, hands shaking and heart racing as I hold back my panicked tears.

I hate this feeling. I hate living in fear. And I hate Zane even more for putting me in this position. I can't go home, I can't go to work, I can't even take Honey for a walk by myself without worrying he's somewhere nearby. He's taken away nearly every place I feel safe and, honestly, I hate myself for letting him.

It takes me several minutes to collect myself enough to walk inside the station. I've never actually seen one in person, and it's much different from what they show on TV. It's quiet, and there aren't many people here. It's not as sterile and harsh as I'd expect, and there is even a soap opera playing on a TV in the corner. It feels more like the waiting area for a therapist's office than it does a police station, but maybe that's on purpose to make people like me feel more comfortable. So far, it isn't working. The receptionist doesn't even acknowledge me until I stand in front of her desk for a few seconds, and even then, she doesn't say a word, just glancing up. So much for making me feel welcome.

"Hi, I'm here to meet with Officer Ruiz." My voice is quiet as I try to steady my shaking hands.

"I'll let him know you're here." Before the words are even out of her mouth, she's back to what she was doing before and I take a seat.

The longer I sit, the more I consider running right back out of here. Something tells me I don't want to hear whatever news Ruiz has for me, and maybe Tanner's right. Maybe I shouldn't try to rush back to my house just yet. I'm not used to feeling so scattered and it's really starting to wear on me.

Tanner is friends with Officer Ruiz, and I trust him, but I was reluctant to talk to him about all of this from the very beginning. Part of me still thinks I'm being paranoid. That it wasn't Zane and there was some perfectly logical reason as to why that ring ended up in my room. I know that isn't true, though. I know it was him and I know I have to admit I was wrong to let him back in.

If he's capable of hiding his entire family from me, then stalking me isn't that big of a stretch.

"Zoe?"

I glance up, seeing Officer Ruiz at the door with a pleasant smile on his face. "Come on back."

We wind through the building to a back office and he shuts the door behind me so we have a bit of privacy and we both take a seat.

"Thank you for coming today. First off, how are you doing?"

I almost laugh out loud. What kind of response does he expect with that question? My home was broken into, my privacy invaded, and I found out my ex-fiance is a crazy stalker just a few days ago. How is anyone after something like that?

"I'm doing okay." I shift my weight in the chair. "Just ready for all of this to be done."

Ruiz's face falls. "I know you are, and I hope that we can make that happen soon. I do have some good news for you. We finished all processing and cleanup of your house yesterday so you're free to go back at any point."

"And the bad news?"

"We haven't been able to find Zane, Zoe." Ruiz doesn't beat around the bush, cutting right to the chase. "And we've done a deep dive into his background and we found some pretty concerning things."

Ruiz pulls out a case file and sets a picture in front of me. It's a mugshot, and despite all the facial hair and a different name on the placard, there is no denying it's Zane. "He goes by a few different aliases. This is from his arrest a few years ago in Arizona."

"What was he arrested for?" I press my lips together, my stomach turning.

"Stalking and felony assault."

I take a deep breath, running my fingers along the crisp paper. This had to have only been months before our trip to South Africa. He looked so different when I met him, but now I was sure it was just part of his act.

"And the family he told you about? They were originally here in San Diego, but they moved after being granted an order of protection against him. It must have been bad because we can't even find a location for them."

"Is all of this supposed to make me feel better?" It was doing the exact opposite. How could I have not seen him for the monster he really is? I knew I was naïve to trust him, but this felt even worse.

"I just want to be honest with you, Zoe. We're doing everything we can to find him, but it looks like he's fled at this point. He probably knows that by leaving the ring, you'd know who it was and that we're onto him. Honestly, he's probably in Mexico by now."

"So, what do we do now?" I ask, apprehensive of his answer.

"Well, we've got a BOLO out and have sent it to all the neighboring districts. Everyone will be on the lookout for him, especially with his history. If he tries to get back into the state, we'll find him, Zoe."

"But what if he doesn't? I'm just supposed to go on like he's not still out there?"

Ruiz looks defeated and I know this isn't the conversation he wanted to be having with him. I know he wanted to catch the bad guy and assure me I was safe and all was well. Instead, he has to tell me that they got played by Zane, too, and that more likely than not, we'll never catch him.

"I wish I had better news for you, Zoe, but I really think that the danger is gone. If he's in Mexico, which we highly suspect, he has no reason to risk coming back because he knows we'll be looking for him. With all of his priors and the intensity of what he's done to you, he'll be going away for a very long time if he does come back."

I nod, wanting to believe him so badly.

"We'll increase patrols in your neighborhood and at the zoo, and we'll put a protection order out in case he gets picked up in another state. He'll be in the system. I'll do whatever I can to keep you safe, Zoe, but aside from those things, our hands are kind of tied."

My heart sinks. Our hands are tied. Of course they are. Zane was probably counting on that.

"Okay." I let out a heavy breath.

"I've seen a lot of these cases, Zoe. Usually, this is the most things will escalate. Only in very rare and extreme cases do we see it go any further. And I promise you, we'll get him before that can happen. Please rest assured knowing I've got my best men on it, and if he tries anything else, we'll get him." Ruiz says. "And I'll be sure that protection order goes in as soon as possible."

"Thank you, Officer Ruiz. I really appreciate it." I try to smile. "I hope you're right."

Ruiz stands up, ready to shake my hand and be done with this entire meeting. "You have my cell phone number. Please call me if you have any concerns or worries at all, Zoe."

By the time I get back out to my car, I feel like throwing up. It's a nice gesture, but the protection order isn't going to do anything for me if Zane comes back.

But maybe, just maybe, Ruiz is right. Maybe he's fled the country and I won't have to worry about it anymore. I want that to be the case so badly, but I'm not convinced it'll be that easy. Already, I'm dreading calling Tanner because I know this won't be good enough for him. He'll want to go after Zane on his own, and take care of it once and for all, and that will only lead to more issues.

Tanner is what set Zane off to begin with. The second he ran into him at the zoo, everything escalated and having Tanner confront him will only make it worse. Somehow I've got to talk him down and make him think I feel okay about all of this. Even if I'm not, I need him to think I am.

And maybe, if I try hard enough, I'll be able to convince us both of that.