Hot as Hall

Chapter Forty

Zoe

I'm an absolute wreck.

After the way yesterday ended, the last thing I expected was for Tanner to still want me to come to the bonfire, and his text message caught me completely off guard. How are we supposed to go to a beach party with his friends with the tension between us right now?

My stomach is nearly in my throat and my mind races with anticipation. I should have done something to keep myself busy and my mind off of what's to come, but I didn't think that far ahead and now it's an hour before Tanner said he was coming and I'm ready and waiting. All I can do is replay the events of yesterday over in my mind. It started off incredible, and we had so much fun playing with all the animals. The boys loved every minute of it, and I thought it was going so well. But then, Hurricane Zane hit and everything went downhill from there.

I should have been honest with Tanner from the beginning, and that was my mistake, but it's not the conflict with him that's weighing on me most. It's the way that Lucas called Zane out, recognizing him from a time when he had a flat bike tire.

Zane tried to brush it off as a simple mistake, but something inside of me tells me that it wasn't. Something tells me that Lucas really did see him, and if that's the case, that means Zane was in my neighborhood. Once again, he's got me second guessing his intentions and jumping to the worst. I want to believe him, but at what point are there too many coincidences? At what point does the benefit of the doubt go out the window? Am I just being paranoid, or could there really be something going on here? I wasn't being fair to him in the beginning, but maybe I've swung too far in the other direction now.

The more I think about Zane, the more I get myself worked up, and the last thing I need is for him to cause yet another issue between Tanner and me, so I try to push those thoughts out of my mind. Whatever is happening there, I can deal with tomorrow. By the time that Tanner gets here, I'm worked up for an entirely different reason. I don't like confrontation, and though I don't expect a huge one with Tanner, the possibility has me on edge.

Despite being upset, Tanner still comes to my door with a single sunflower, absolutely melting me. A true gentleman to his core. How did I get so lucky to find a guy like him?

"Hey." I open the door, giving him a smile but treading lightly.

"Hi." He hands the flower to me, without much expression on his face. He brushes a quick kiss across my cheek. "You look beautiful."

The tension between us is heavy as Tanner takes my hand and leads me to the truck. He doesn't say much as we drive toward the beach, so finally, I decide to break the icy silence.

"I know you're angry with me, and we don't have to do this if you don't want to." I press my lips together.

"Yes, we do. I already told them we were coming and I don't want to have to explain why we're not." His tone is flat, and he stares ahead, straight to the point. His answer isn't exactly what I was looking for, and I'm not sure I'm going to get much more right now, so I don't press him on it.

But to my surprise, he continues. "And I'm not angry with you. I'm just... I wish you would have told me sooner."

"I know. I know I should have, and I'm sorry I didn't."

Tanner's jaw clenches. "Did you not tell me because you still have feelings for him?"

"What?" I almost laugh out loud. "Feelings for Zane? Tanner, absolutely not. I didn't tell you because I was embarrassed. It's been months and I should be over it by now, but I still have all kinds of anger and resentment toward him. I thought if I could push through and work with him, it would help. You mean way more tome than I could ever tell you, so if it's a problem for you..."

"My problem isn't that you're working with him, Zo. The guy is a bastard, and I know you're smart enough to keep your distance. He's no threat to me. But what bothers me is that you didn't tell me. I feel like I'm on the outside here when all I want to do is to be there for you. I know you didn't outright lie, but when I found out you didn't tell me the truth, it triggered something inside of me. Because of everything that happened with Gwen, dishonestly is a strict deal breaker for me, and I don't want it to come to that."

The look in his eyes cuts me to my core. I never intended to hurt him this way, but after his explanation, I completely understand. My reasons were selfish, and I never should have hid the fact that I was working with Zane. No matter the intentions, it looks sketchy, and I never want Tanner to question how I feel about him.

"Neither do I." The thought of losing Tanner is debilitating, and the idea that something as stupid as Zane could make that happen makes me sick.

"Then let me in." Tanner reaches for my hand, giving it a tight squeeze as he holds it across the center console. "All I want is to be there for you the way you have been for me. You don't have to shoulder everything alone, and you definitely don't have to be ashamed that you're still dealing with what Zane did. What happened was horrendous and you can't expect to just snap your fingers and get over it."

A smile creeps across his lips, and he gives me a sideways look. "I mean, Jesus, Zoe, the amount of my dirty laundry you've had to deal with in the last few weeks... there is literally nothing you could tell me that would make me run at this point. I'm all in."

"Me too. And I promise that from now on, I'll be completely upfront and honest with you. Especially when it comes to things like this."

I smile, relief hitting me like a tidal wave. He's right. I'm used to handling everything on my own, but the idea of sharing the load with someone else is nice. I don't need Tanner to be my knight in shining armor, but having a partner is something I could get used to. This conversation went so much differently than I expected, and I'm so glad it did.

Our relationship is so healthy it's almost sickening.

Before long, we're at the beach and I can already see Tanner's friends gathered around a fire pit. There is a bbq set up and all kinds of beach games, and it actually looks like it's going to be a lot of fun. I was dreading this all day, but now that things are better between Tanner and I, I'm excited. I love seeing every version of Tanner, and his guard seems to drop when he's around his friends. He trusts them, and they bring out a fun-loving goofy side of him I don't get to see all that often.

Reds and oranges pull across the sky in the most beautiful sunset of the year. In a rare moment of calm, the ocean is like glass and reflects the vibrant colors. It looks like a painting, and I can't take my eyes off of it.

Tanner helps me out of the truck, following my gaze to the watercolor sky.

"Almost as beautiful as you." He winks, wrapping an arm around my shoulder as he catches my lips in a rough, impassioned kiss. It sends chills across my body as he presses me into the door of the truck. Tanner doesn't care who's around or who can see, and his inhibition makes my knees weak. He's so forward and confident, leaving no doubt that he's with me. Just as my eyes flutter closed, he pulls away, his teeth drag over my bottom lip and leaving me wanting more.

"What do you say we just make an appearance and dip out early so we can make up properly?" A mischievous grin pulls at his lips and I can't quite tell if he's kidding.

"Would you stop?" I playfully swat his shoulder. "These are your friends, and you're the one who told me we couldn't skip out. I'm sure it's going to be fun."

"What good is fighting if you can't enjoy a little make-up sex?" He pouts, sticking that bottom lip out.

I grab the bag of snacks and drinks we brought out of the truck and take a few steps ahead of him. "We can have all the makeup sex you want as long as I get the s'mores I was promised."

"You got it, babe."