this is me trying

Chapter 9 - Fighting

It was soon November, and things were rolling along quite nicely. Since the twitter incident, no one had mentioned Ona or myself in any social media post. Everything seemed to quiet down, which was a relief, as anything public had always scared me.

We had a League Cup group stage game to play, against United, meaning that I was to come up against Ona again. I knew it would happen. This fixture had been set for a little while, but it still didn't make it any better. It still didn't make it okay that I was going up against the one person who I wished I didn't have to. The one person I wish I would never have to.

But besides that, everything was great between Ona and me. We would see each other everyday, trying to make time around our already very busy schedules. We would go out for dinners, or stay in. We would go to the reservoir, or watch tv on the couch. We would hold hands as we walked down the street, or hold hands while in my kitchen. Everything felt like it had fallen into place.

"I wish it could be like this forever," I said, as I wrapped my arms around Ona's stomach, from behind her, as she stood over a pan in the kitchen, making food.

"Me too," she responded. I could see her little smile, as she stirred the vegetables, and my head settled on her back. "It can be."

"Hardly," I responded, moving away.

"It's only one game. It'll be okay."

"Yeah..."

"And besides, it is only a group game. It's not like it's a knockout or anything." I nodded, knowing she was right, but still, it didn't help the pit in my stomach.

As Ona turned off the stove, I went over, turned it on and off again.

"You good?" she asked, as she poured the vegetables into a bowl.

"Yep," I responded, sitting back down.

We ate together, and by the time I looked at my watch, it was already 10:30.

"It's late," I soon said.

"Don't go," she responded.

"Ona..."

"Stay. Please." I looked at her, and when her eyes fluttered at mine, I knew I couldn't say no. I knew that I didn't want to say no.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Do you want me to say no?" I joked.

"No," she responded, holding my arms down from behind and pressing soft kisses on my cheek. I was taller than Ona, most Norwegians are tall, but it was never too obvious. At least to us it wasn't.

For the first time since Nora died, I spent a night in a bed with someone else. I used to not be able to share a bed with anyone. I didn't like feeling their presence. But with Ona, it was different. I felt secure, next to her. I felt safe. And for me, that was a hard thing to feel.

I woke up the next morning, with her arms around me, and her head nuzzled into my shoulder. I smiled knowing that she was here. She was protecting me and I was protecting her. But I had to go. I had to get back to my apartment before making my own way to the stadium for the game. The game against Ona.

"Ona?" I said quietly, only to be replied with a grunt. "I have to go." I slowly moved her arms off me, before kissing her head and closing the door quietly. I grabbed my keys, and headed downstairs.

I went via my apartment, to pick up my game day bag, and headed back into the car to the stadium. It was an early kick off time, hence the rush to get back in time.

As I parked my car, I had a message from Ona.

Ona: let me know when you arrive. Hoping you have enough time.