this is me trying

Chapter 37 - Just Come Home

I left New Zealand, flying back to Manchester. I had an apartment to pack up. I had a life to leave behind. I wanted to stay, possibly watch to the end of the tournament, but I knew I couldn't, not after what happened yesterday with Ona.

I felt my life collapse in front of my eyes, but I knew I had done the right thing. She deserved something so much more, so much greater. She was Ona Batlle, and I was just Eva. Nothing more. Nothing less.

As I walked into my Manchester apartment, I stopped myself in the doorway. I looked inside, seeing the life that I had left behind here only a few months earlier. Everything had changed since then. My life and its existence were different. Nothing was the same. The Manchester apartment reminded me of the times when my brain didn't win. When I had Ona, when we were living together, when everything was happy and perfect and lovely. City were winning, I was scoring and playing as I had never played before. It was the time of my life.

Except I knew it couldn't last forever. It never would. It was over. It was done for. Reality soon set back in.

I called in some people to help me pack: Laia and Leila. They were two of the girls who weren't at the World Cup, with most of the others still over in Australia and New Zealand. Unlike Ona, they weren't recalled back to the national team, and even though I was upset for them, I did have to realise that Ona was one of the lucky ones. Most of the Las 15 weren't called back.

"Thanks for my helping," I said to them, as we packed up my kitchen.

"I can't believe you are leaving," Laia said, sighing softly.

"It's just time," I replied.

"Where are you going?" Leila asked.

"I- It's complicated."

"Still in the works?" Leila assumed.

"I guess you could say that," I laughed.

"Can I guess?" Leila joked.

"Go ahead."

"Madrid! Hayley's there now."

"Um..."

"No, okay, so not Madrid," Leila laughed. "Wolfsburg?"

"Well..."

"Okay, not Wolfsburg. Lyon? Surely not."

"Nope, definitely not."

"Then where?" Laia exclaimed.

"All will be revealed in due time," I laughed.

"Fine, we won't push, even though I really, really want to," Leila laughed, and we continued to pack.

By the end of the day, my apartment was fully in boxes. My bedroom, living room, kitchen, and bathroom, are all in cardboard containers, ready to be shipped to my next destination.

"Thanks, guys," I said to them, as they were both about to leave.

"When will we see you again, Evy?" Leila asked.

"Not sure," I replied. "Don't worry. I'll be back." They smiled at me, before walking down my hallway. As i closed the door, I whispered to myself, "not for a very long time."

I called Hayley, not wanting to leave anything with her in a bad spot. Although, I strategically placed the call to be at 3 am for her, hoping she wouldn't answer and it would go straight to voice mail. I was lucky. It did.

"Hey Hales," I said into the phone. "I just wanted to say goodbye. Not sure when I'll see you again. Thanks for everything you have done for me. You're going to be amazing in Madrid. Don't try to ring me back, I won't be able to answer. I love you. I believe in you." I hung up the phone, breathing softly.