this is me trying

Chapter 29 - Gambles

Wosofan20: BREAKING NEWS IN THE WORLD ona and eva have broken up. Well, we think they have at least... sadness!!!!

Onabattlefan2: wait what??? How do we know?

Wosofan20: @onabatllefan ona didn't comment, or like, and they haven't been seen together in weeks. + eva just unfollowed her :(

Unitedlover: WAIT EVA UNFOLLOWED HER?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Wosofan20: @unitedlover i know right!!! So freaking sad

THREE MONTHS LATER

It was FA Cup final day. Ona made it. United made it to the final. They would be coming up against Chelsea, which would be difficult, but I had faith in her.

Eva: Good luck today.

We had been messaging every now and again. It was sporadic and never planned. She texted me sometimes and I texted her. But there had been nothing more. I never actually got around to fixing the smashed screen that illuminated my phone. The lines wer still etched onto the screen, reminding me of that day. Reminding me of the hurt and pain I felt the day it all fell apart with the girl I loved.

Ona: Thanks :)

The rumours about Ona's departure from United had become even more recurrent. Any time I checked sky sports, there were more claims from sources that know 'exactly what Ona Batlle's plans are'. I ignored them.

I hoped that when she did decide, I would know before the media would. I deserved at least that, right?

I had hope.

I watched the final of the FA Cup with Hayley and the rest of the City girls. We set up at Ellie's apartment, everyone bringing around snacks and an assortment of drinks. We had only one round left of the WSL and it wasn't looking good for us. A loss to Liverpool mear days earlier meant we were three points behind Arsenal and with an inferior goal difference.

We didn't have Champions League for the next season.

I was called into Gareth's office, a few days prior, wanting to discuss my contract. I hadn't resigned yet. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to or not. To be honest, the reason I hadn't signed one earlier was because of Ona. I wanted to go wherever she went, but now, I wasn't sure if I could continue in Manchester at all, as it all reminded me of her.

Of the pain.

Of the heartache.

Of the cracked phone case, misplaced keys, and lost person.

It hurt my soul too much.

"Eva, thanks for coming in," he said, as I sat in his office, the chair across from his.

"Yeah, no problem," I replied, my accent sounding stronger than I remembered it.

"I want us to be on the same page," Gareth soon said, "about next season."

"Okay..."

"You know we most likely aren't making Champions League," he started to say. "And I know that could be an incentive to leave, but we would really like to discuss contract extensions with you." I knew this conversation would come.

"I- I am not sure yet what I want to do," I replied, honestly.

"What else is on your mind?" he asked.

"It's nothing to do with the club," I said, honestly. "It's just personal things."

"Okay, well, we want to sign you for 2 more seasons with a significant pay rise too." I smiled an awkward grin at him, knowing I always hated conversations like these.

"Wow, thanks, but-"

"Just think about it, okay?" Gareth asked.

"Yeah, okay. I will."

I was picking at the skin around my fingernails as he spoke, and once the conversation was over, I rushed out the door. I found the nearest hand sanitizer, pressing it into my skin. It burned where the skin had started to bleed, but it was a nice burn; a burn I liked.