The Smile She Gives You

Chapter 25: The Past is Behind Me

I will leave the swim team. I've just told my teammates. I have said what I wanted to say and my decision stands.
But this still doesn't take away the pain I feel when seeing my friends in front of me. Emma and Amy rush to me and hug me. It's very sudden but it's very nice to have them near me. I know it will not be easy for them.

Amy whispers very quietly with an uneven voice: "Please don't leave us, Tori. I will miss you so much. I will miss your positivity so much."
It's as if Amy's feelings are transferred to me: My lip trembles and my heart gets even heavier as tears start forming in my eyes.
Emma keeps my spirits up and seems to cope with the situation in a calmer way: "If you ever need something, you can always reach out to us. And we will always keep you updated on the team. But know that you will be greatly missed."

The tears slowly start flowing. I can't really tell whether they are tears of pain or of happiness. In truth I believe they are a little bit of both. I barely manage to speak in a hushed voice that only the two of them can hear: "Thank you so much. For everything."
I am happy to have my friends by my side now and I am happy that they will always be at my side.

~~~

"How was your last day of swim practice, Tori?", my mum asks me as I enter our house.
I smile thinking about what just happened a few moments ago.

"It was great thanks, Mum. Everyone was very supportive and I hold myself really lucky to be in such a unique and amazing swim team."
"That's perfect! I am truly happy that you grew up with such loving friends who care about you."
The ends of my lips turn up as I picture the faces of my teammates in my mind. They are no longer faces of disbelief and sadness. Instead, they are faces of acceptance, happiness and support.
"Yes, it is in deed wonderful to have them around me."

I hear movement behind me and see my dad come down the stairs.
"Good evening, my dear ladies. Did I miss anything?"
My mum speaks up before I get the chance to: "Your daughter here had a wonderful last session with her swim team, Benji."
With a big smile across his face, my dad turns around to embrace me in a tight hug: "That's wonderful news, my darling! I am very happy for you!"

Why is my face getting wet again? Am I so used to crying now that I do it no matter which emotions I am feeling? Is crying my response to the environment and to everything happening at present? In any case, I can at least clearly say that those are tears of joy. I have found my happiness in life again. I see joy in the little things such hugs or smiles I get from the people around me. The feeling of relief is sticking with me and not letting go. There is no way I could be any happier with my life right now in this moment.

~~~

"May I have this dance, milady?"
We have barely entered the school building and Ryan already wants to dance? Well, I can understand that graduation parties are exciting. After all, I'm feeling quite intrigued myself to even just be here.
"But of course, handsome. Show me what you've got."
I take Ryans hand and he rests his other arm on the back of my long, silky, navy blue dress to lead me to the dance floor. After finding a quiet spot, we turn to face each other and start to move to the rhythm of the almost deafening music, slowly and uncertainly at first, but with every next song we gain more confidence in our dancing.

~~~

The final beat of a fast-paced song fades out as I realise the whole crowd is panting and gasping for air. How much time has passed since we arrived? Dancing can get rather tough after a while, especially when you dance to the original choreography of a song. As if the DJ, who is none other than Lukas himself, has read everyone's minds, he grabs the microphone: "Yo, are we all having a good time?!"
His question is responded with many cheers but they seem a little short and forced.
Lukas laughs: "I feel like all of us might need to catch our breaths. This next one is relaxing, I promise you. Grab your partners and enjoy!"

A warm song start playing. After even less than a second, I recognise the song to be none other than Polaroid Love by Enhypen. I smile at the happy and uplifting lyrics and the beat that gives me a carefree feeling.

Ryan looks down at me: "There's the pretty smile I know! You are so beautiful when you smile, Tori. I can't tell you this often enough."
My smile widens even more: "Thank you so much, Ryan. The same goes back to you of course."

After a short moment of silence and enjoying the dance, Ryan turns back to me again.
"Just remember, Tori", he says, his piercing blue eyes softly looking down at me with, "no matter what happens, I will always be there fore you. Promise me to reach out whenever you need anything."
I melt away at his caring words but in my relaxed state still manage to focus on the incredible person in front of me. How do I best show my gratitude to him? Oh, I know!

While gently supporting myself with one hand on Ryans shoulder and the other on his cheek, I lift myself up on my toes and softly press my lips onto his for a short but breathtaking moment.

"I promise", I whisper into his ear as I pull away.
"I love you, Tori", he whispers back to me.
I smile at those beautiful words: "I love you too, Ryan."

And that smile has stayed on ever since.