As Grim as the Reaper | PREQUEL Simon 'GHOST' Riley

TWENTY FOUR

Why were break-ups so fucking hard?

You'd barely moved for the first two weeks since you got back to Laswell's, your bags remained unpacked, collecting dust in the corner of the spare room - your room. The only time you moved was to use the bathroom or eat, and several times, Laswell had had to take it upon herself to get you into the shower.

The emptiness was so large within you, you weren't sure how it could ever be filled again.

But fuck, were people trying.

If Laswell was on base, her wife sat with you all day. Either she'd join you in the bed, holding you close and sticking on some shitty reality tv. Or, she'd sit on the armchair, quietly watching over you as she read a book or continued her knitting.

Either way, you were rarely alone.

Which was a good thing, to be honest. Laswell had seen you go into countless wars, she'd seen you take knives and bullets, explosions. But the way you sobbed as she drove you home that day...that was the most fear she'd felt for your life.

At that point, she was the most unsure she'd ever been when posed with the question that you'd make it through this.

Your hand was still clamped over your mouth in a desperate effort to control the sobs as the tears falling from your eyes refused to relent.

She'd never seen you cry like this before. It was so different from hearing it over comms. Being right there, and seeing how much pain you were in, was killing her inside.

"(Y/N), sweetie, deep breaths honey." She tried, placing a hand on your knee. "C'mon, calm down for me. It's okay."

You shook your head quickly, moving your hands to grip hers, "I-It's n-not, mama, n-not ok-kay. Not g-gonna be."

"What happened?"

"Left h-him." you hiccupped, "It's-s over. He s-said it was my f-fault, mama. He said-"

You couldn't say any more, another wave of sobs attacking your chest. You squeezed her hand in yours tightly, it being the only thing grounding you enough to keep you on this plane of existence.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry."

For the rest of the journey, the only sound was you, crying, sniffling, sobbing, barely able to catch your breath.

Every emotion you'd tried so desperately to hold down, to be stronger than, was coming out uncontrollably.

By the time you were able to speak again, you were wrapped up in bed, the room in darkness except for the small lamp, and you had Laswell holding you tightly. By now, the tears were falling silently.

"You gonna tell me why he was bleeding?"

"Threw the ring at him."

Laswell glanced down then, only just noticing that you were, in fact, no longer wearing your engagement ring. Her heart broke for you - no, she may have never truly liked Graves, but she knew how much you loved him, how much he meant to you.

"What happened, sweetie?" She spoke, tenderly rubbing your arm.

"He said it was my fault. Everything that's happened...losing the guys, losing my mind, our relationship- he s-said it was all me."

"You know that's not true, don't you?"

"What if it is? What if he's right?"