Rule Number One (BoyXBoy)

Chapter Twelve

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Chapter Twelve 

Teddy moves back into his old house. I am moved in with him as well. We organize his stuff with the way it was before, except for the bedroom. We use some of his credits (the Community's currency) to allow me to get decorations for the bedroom. I choose some blue bed sheets and matching curtains. I also put in a night light. It seems a bit childish, and for a moment I am not sure whether or not to buy it, but Teddy sees my uncertainty and, with a mere touch to the shoulder, lets me know it's okay.

I lay awake in bed that night, stomach twisting and head pounding. At first I think it is just stress. Jason's words of warning are storming through my mind like a little tornado, spinning around and around with the same self-deprecating thoughts. My nails are biting into my palms and my teeth are grinding together.

I have all the symptoms of a typical stress fest.

I try to ignore them.

"Brian, can you tell me why you like me, other than that you're physically attracted to me?" Teddy asks around eleven.

"You're sweet," I say after a pause. "You're genuinely nice. That is so rare. You comfort me when I'm down, you're protective when necessary, you are creative and talented, you like syrup on your fried eggs and you named your toothbrush Tim. You watch reruns of Judge Judy and you're upset when you can't reach the top shelf. You hum in your sleep. Your eyes get all shiny when you talk about your painting. You claim you're agnostic but you can recite the entire Bible verse for verse. You would make a wonderful dad if you could just get over your aversion to female genitals. You make me laugh when I'm upset, and even for all your little perfections, you're still flawed. I like that you seem human, even when the rest of the time I debate with myself with whether or not you're God, because I practically worship you."

He looks like he's about to cry. "I found someone who loves me in spite of my flaws."

"Sweetheart," I nuzzle my nose to his. "I love you, not in spite of them, but because of them. I love you, all of you. I exclude NOTHING, even if I find it annoying that you don't put the cap back on the toothbrush."

Everything is peaceful after that, my conscience a bit assuaged. Around two AM though, I am up in the bathroom, puking into the toilet.

"Honey, are you okay?" Teddy hurries in when he hears me. He is in an old Rugrats t-shirt and pink boxers. Before bed, I couldn't help but enjoy the sight. Now I can't even appreciate it for the illness that is making my head swim and my body ache with chills as I am forced to rid my body of what it sees as waste.

"Oww," I mumble as I rest my cheek on the toilet seat. I feel Teddy pull my lose hair back into a pony tail, and he brings me a glass of water. I drink it greedily, but just have to empty my stomach again in another thirty seconds.

“When did this start happening?” he asks, worry in his voice. He touches my forehead. “Brian, you’re burning up!”

“I…felt badly earlier, attributed it to the stress today,” I groan. He places a cool rag on the back of my neck. He makes me hold the thermometer in my mouth, despite that the feel makes me gag.

“I wish you would have told me,” he frowns. He takes back the old mercury thermometer after a few minutes. “103.5 degrees Fahrenheit… Brian, honey, I’m calling the doctor. This isn’t good, not good at all.”

He disappears, and I am afraid. I am sick, and I am alone. I am terrified of what happens if he doesn’t come back. I will be left in this god-forsaken world, left to deal with the likes of Jason. I don’t have a job, I don’t have friends, and I don’t have a family. I am alone…so alone…