Hold On To Love || Kirk Hammett

Part 26- Something to Hold Onto

This song is just golden. It's not metal but I've been obsessing over it the past few days. 

Savannah's POV

Have you ever felt numb? When you feel nothing because everything is just hitting you, like a tsunami. You don't think, you don't breathe, you don't talk, you just let the feelings destroy you until it doesn't hurt anymore.

"HAPPY NEW YEARS!" Everyone screamed, and a bunch of fireworks whizzed of into the air, and erupted with a big bang.

1986. I can't wait to see how much you want to hurt me, because I can't be bothered anymore. I was pushed past my breaking point, most people assume that you'll feel depressed or angry, but they were wrong. It felt almost psychopathic, being so numb, being so free. Maybe I was gone off the rails, but I couldn't care as much as I wanted to.

Loosing someone was one pain, but loosing someone you never met was different. It's knowing that you will never be able to connect with that person to love them, to care for them no matter how you try you will never get to. It's like an opportunity was ripped out of your hands and now you're never getting it back. 

"Happy new years, love." Kirk said, sitting behind me. My body between his legs and the waves crashed at our feet. It was James's idea to throw a little party at the beach, mostly because once they get shitfaced, it was a small walk to our house so they could crash there.

He pulled me against his chest, and we watched the fireworks explode, "Beautiful, just like you."

"Happy New Years." I whispered, closing my eyes and feeling his presence. As much as I wanted to detach, just forget about the world, Kirk was the one that kept me to Earth and I couldn't ignore that. His love. Maybe it's just that I didn't want to be free, a small part of me wanted to be chained to the ground, to be chained with Kirk.

"I was wondering, we finished our album and I'm free for the next month or two..."

"That's nice." I mumbled.

"Do you want to go on holiday back to South Africa?" I whipped my head around, dazed by his words.

"What?" I asked shocked, figuring I must be dreaming. Of all the things I expected him to say, I can assure you that was the last.

"I thought it would be nice, you know, to forget about things for a while. Take a break."

"I'd love that." I smiled. I pushed him back onto the sand, and connected our lips.

 Ever since Angel, I was too scared to have sex with him, I wasn't ready for that yet and he respected that. He was also devastated to say the least. He thought I didn't notice but every night he'd go to the bathroom and cry. It broke my already shattered heart even more when I heard his sobs echoing from the bathroom. 

"I wanna see where you get all that craziness from." He laughed.

"I get it from them." I pointed at Trevor and Dunca- 

"Oh my god, they're skinny dipping." I shrieked, burying my head in Kirk's neck trying to get the sight of their ass out of my head. 

When you live with four other guys, you tend to...walk in on things. We all walked into each other way too many times, but I didn't need those sights burned into my skull.

"I am never unseeing that." Kirk groaned, kicking his head back into the sand, his actions making me giggle a little.

"What's it like? You know, South Africa?" He asked. Oh boy, there's only one word for that, chaotic, but he didn't need to know.

"Well, I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise, now would I."

~~~~~