Bite me (on hold)

Chapter-18- I remember

Calm down Lily. He's just a boy. You can do it. So what if You like him? It'll be the same as always. He doesn't know. Just don't act any different. Any different.

I contemplated the pros and cons of knocking on joss's door. He forgot his jacket at my house and I was delivering it to him. And if I'm being honest, I just really miss him. A lot.

Ever since I admitted to my affection towards him, I've been feeling more need to be around him, and even at the thought of his name butterflies would erupt in my stomach like there was no tomorrow.

All the side effects of having a crush. I could tell you many things about it. But I'm only going to give you my personal opinion about having a crush on someone. I hate it. Especially since his feelings are towards another girl. But I try not to think about it.

I shake myself out of my thoughts and finally, out of no were, gathered up the courage to knock on his door.

I felt the cold wood creak under the thud of my knuckles. I tried not to think about liking joss. I was just here to give him back his jacket.

It took only about 10 seconds for joss to open the door. And yes. I did count. At the sight of him, I couldn't help but smile. It felt like it's been so long since the last time I've seen him.

His warm smile welcomed me while also shooting a jolt of tingles all through my body. I seriously hate liking someone.

"Hey button."

Hey. I wanted to say it out loud. But I didn't. I couldn't. I was new to this whole liking someone thing. Give me a break!

"Cat got your tongue?" He pressured.

I just smiled.

And he smiled back.

"I can take that cat off your tongue and replace it with my tongue if you don't talk," He threatened.

My eyes widened and I immediately began purging my mind of what to say.

"Blank," I said. It was all I was thinking. So I said it.

"Butterflies," I continued.

"Eyes," I should stop talking now. But I didn't, unfortunately.

"Overwhelming. New. Hot. Confused. Heart. Help!" I sputtered out, taking deep breaths. This was to much. I'm probably being over dramatic, I know, but all my life I managed to grow up without feelings and love. This is new.

Joss eyed me for a second before his entire face transformed into complete concern.

"Wow, Lily, I'm sorry. I don't know what I did, was it something I said? Here. Come in."

I just nodded. I gave up on trying to form a correct sentence, in stead I tried to focus on not smashing joss's lips into mine. He loves someone else; I had to keep painfully reminding myself. I'm not a selfish type, so I won't let that change now.

I didn't notice joss brought me into his living room until I was sat on the couch and joss was saying something about a glass of water. He was probably getting it for me. Good. I think that's what I needed.

He left the room and I made myself I bit more comfortable. I just need some water. Then I'll handle everything just fine.

Two minutes later joss walked back in the room with some water; which I was very thankful for. With shaky hands, I reached up and took the glass out of joss's hands. I realized I was shaking a little to much when I began to spill water on his carpet.