Everything or Nothing

Fever Dreams

The next few weeks go by uneventfully. They make it from September to October in frigid silence, and while it isn't really progress, at least they aren't actively fighting.

"So, you're liking school?" Chuuya can hear the sounds of the busy street in the background, then the low whistle of Kouyou calling for a taxi.

"Yeah..." Chuuya trails off, "It's been good. Eventful."

"...How eventful are we talking?"

"Got drunk, got a boyfriend, got busted for running a questionably legal panini business—"

"Oh god. Does Dad know?"

"If he did, do you think I would still be here?"

Well, sure, Chuuya is eighteen and he can make his own decisions, but if his Dad was going to literally have a stroke, then yes, he'd move back home.

Kouyou doesn't argue with that logic. "What's his name?"

"My roommate?"

"Your boyfriend."

"Oh." Chuuya blinks, lowering his voice a little as he walks past a gaggle of girls. "Shirase."

"Is he nice?"

"Yeah," he nods emphatically. "And funny—honestly, we get along really well."

"That's good—" Kouyou pauses, "Why do you sound...conflicted?"

Chuuya bites his lip.

There are a couple of reasons. Only one of which would be digestible to his sister. "...I guess I just don't know how to...be..." he scratches the side of his neck. "You know how Dad was always rambling about how communication is so important and how he and Mom were always so good at talking about crap?"

"Yes, Chuuya," Kouyou bites back laughter, "you've summarized the key to a successful marriage very eloquently."

"Well..." Chuuya makes a face, wrinkling his nose. "There's something I don't know how to...broach."

"Like what?"

"It's kinda..."

Chuuya trails off, his face heating up a little, and his sister's tone turns reassuring. "There's nothing you can't talk to me about, you know..."

The redhead sighs heavily, pulling his backpack higher up on his shoulders "Yeah...just..."

"Just what?"

"We've been doing stuff."

"Stuff?" He can hear the sound of a taxi door shutting, "Chuuya, you don't have to call it stuff—"

"I'm definitely gay, right?"

Kouyou seems startled but the question "I don't know, Chuuya, you're the one who almost puked during that scene in Blue is the Warmest Color—"

"Does any sex scene have to be fifteen minutes long?! That's—" Chuuya rubs his cheek, as if that might get rid of the blush there. "That's not the point, it's just—I...haven't really been into it."

"...Well," Kouyou sounds a little surprised, "you could still be romantically attracted to men and not want to be with them sexually."

"What? Like I'm asexual?" Chuuya blinks, shaking his head, "I might be confused, but I'm not that—"

"How do you know?"

"Because when I'm touching him it's great, and we're both into it, but..." Chuuya bites the inside of his cheek. "I don't know, it just isn't that good when he's touching me? It just sort of feels...like he's trying to get through it. Does that sound stupid?"