Everything or Nothing

I wanted to hear your voice

When he walks up in the morning, he really does have every intention of following his

grandfather's instructions. He just makes one crucial mistake first:

Dazai checks his Instagram.

Not for any particular reason—he's just gotten in the habit of checking his social media when he wakes up most mornings. And, unfortunately, he sees Chuuya's most recent post.

At first, it's innocuous. There's another beautiful girl, a redhead—one he immediately recognizes as Chuuya's sister, cuddled up with a raven-haired girl in a restaurant booth. That isn't the shitty part.

It's the two people on the other side of the booth.

Chuuya is in an oversized sweater, green, and the filter brings out the shades of his eyes just right. God, his smile still hits Dazai like he's being punched in the gut, and he knows that beneath the scarf around his neck, the marks Dazai made are still there.

But the fourth person in the photo caches his eye.

Blonde. European, smiling at the camera with an arm around Chuuya's shoulders. They look pretty comfortable together.

And god, Dazai wants to lift that arm off of Chuuya and break every single finger, but—

Chuuya doesn't look all that broken up about anything.

Dazai tries to think of an explanation, and he knows Chuuya doesn't owe him one—but maybe Dazai just...completely misinterpreted the situation. Really...they were friends, even if Chuuya doesn't feel like that, he does care. Maybe he was just...sad that Dazai wasn't coming back next semester.

Really, that isn't outside of the realm of possibility, is it?

Dazai squeezes his eyes shut, remembering the way Chuuya held onto him, the way that he kissed him after.

"You're beautiful too."

Dazai feels like he's losing his mind.

Chuuya rolls over onto his stomach, staring at the picture, counting the likes he receives, trying to see if any of them are from @daz.osamu_1.

None of them are.

"Well, in any case, he'll definitely think you're over him," Yosano yawns, carefully aiming before she tosses a popcorn kernel in the mouth of Chuuya's cousin, Phillip (the blonde from said picture), "So, you don't have anything left to be embarrassed about."

"Serves him right," Kouyou mutters. "If he asks, you should tell him that he has a bigger dick, too."

"Ew," Phillip frowns, "I was happy to model around a bit for you, but he's still my relative—"

"He wouldn't believe me if I said that, anyway." Chuuya mutters, checking Dazai's page to see if he's posted since he got home—and when he sees that he hasn't, Chuuya starts going through his recent likes.

Yosano snorts, "What do you mean, he wouldn't believe you? Phil, I think he's trying to say you look like you have a tiny eclair down there—"

"No," Chuuya grumbles, noticing that Dazai has not liked anything for a couple of days. He can't really just bust out and say that Dazai is at the upper end of the spectrum size wise (yes, Chuuya guessed / estimated his size and googled it, so? it's a normal thing to be curious), so he just goes with, "I already lied to him about a guy's...build before to needle him, and he caught me, so..."