Everything or Nothing

Fluffy White Tigers and Pillow Forts

It's weird to think about it now, that the end of their first semester is right around the corner.

For Chuuya, the stress is actually easing off. He doesn't have the same exams that the rest of his friends are studying for--once he finishes submitting his final projects, he's pretty much just wrapping up and waiting to see if his professors want him to make any revisions by the end of the term. Which is a little boring, because Tachihara is working double shifts and studying his ass off as the holidays get close, and Yuan is busy cramming...

But it turns out, things come up.

Dazai is bored out of his mind. It's the last day of classes—he's already looked over his study guides, finished the final readings, and...

He just does not care enough to cram for a subject he doesn't even enjoy, so here he is, waiting for exams to start so he can get them out of the way, withdraw from Todai, and put this entire conflicting saga behind him.

Even if a teeny, tiny voice in the back of his brain is whispering—

Would you never want to see him again?

Dazai doesn't know if this is denial, or self-sabotage.

All he does know is that every single person in his life that is important to him—even the better ones—has left at some point or another. Literally, emotionally, or whatever—they never stick around. And he told himself a long time ago, he was never going to have a girlfriend, get married, or have a family. Not only because he doesn't know how, but simply because he knows just how viscerally painful loving someone that much can be. He just can't go through that anymore. So, he distances himself.

Chuuya isn't exempt from those fears. If anything, the fact that Dazai seems to care about him more than he normally does makes it even more terrifying.

So...maybe if he takes himself out of the equation, if he leaves first, it won't hurt as bad as it did before.

Really, he's telling himself that was working. It really was. And then, life got way more complicated.

On the day of Dazai's first exam, he gets a phone call. Which isn't necessarily odd, his phone is almost constantly lighting up—it's the caller ID that catches his eye.

It's his father.

For reference: in the last four months, Dazai has received exactly three phone calls from his Dad. One to make sure moving into his dorm went smoothly. Another to update him on his grandfather's health. This is the third.

"..." He answers, lifting the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

"Osamu," his father sounds so relieved, "I've been trying to get a hold of someone for an hour—it's about your little brother—"

Dazai freezes in place, "Is he alright?"

"He's fine, but four emergency surgeries just piled up, and I'm not going to be able to make it to Narita in time to pick him up, and Minako wasn't able to fly with him this time--"

"Did he fly by himself?" Dazai is incredulous, and his father sounds more than a little defensive.

"Just be glad your mother is still in Europe, or I wouldn't have been able to fly him home at all." His father snaps, "And he was accompanied by a flight attendant the entire time, it's perfectly safe—"

"He's seven and it was an international flight!"

"Could you please stop arguing with me and go pick him up? Sakunosuke isn't answering."