Everything or Nothing

The Breaking Point

He doesn't actually know when he stops crying. At some point, he must have fallen asleep like that, hunched over on the floor, Chuuya's phone clutched in his fingers, because when he opens his eyes again, it's to someone gently shaking his shoulder.

He lifts his chin, his head aching, his throat raw, only to see his father kneeling in front of him--the way he always did when he was little—when he was about to give Dazai bad news.

And Dazai finds himself making the same noise he heard on the phone a few hours ago. "Is he—?"

Mori shakes his head, squeezing Dazai's shoulder gently. "He made it."

Dazai lets out a ragged breath, utterly deflating. "Is he—" his voice is hoarse and raw, "Is he gonna be okay?"

Mori stares at him for a long moment, planning out exactly how he should say this. "We were able to take him off of life support. He's breathing on his own." Which honestly, that was in a lot of doubt just a few hours ago, so it makes Dazai almost crumble with relief. "And he has a concussion, but there's no sign of any significant brain damage."

Dazai finds himself nodding numbly, "So—he's gonna be okay?" He mutters, feeling utterly drained.

"..." Mori takes a deep breath, "He had a massive heart attack, Osamu. We're trying to monitor the structural damage, and that'll determine our next steps."

"I—" Dazai swallows thickly, "—like a transplant?"

Mori thinks that over. "That would be the worst-case scenario. But at this point, while I don't think his life is in any more immediate danger—he won't be able to go back to the way things were before."

Dazai swallows hard, his brow creasing. "I don't—I don't understand—"

"Until he can get the surgeries he needs—and that is going to be delayed, because of this—" Mori pushes his fingers through his hair. "He's going to need to be in an environment where he can be monitored 247."

"...Meaning?"

Mori grimaces. "Meaning, he won't be coming back to school this semester. Probably not this year."

Dazai tries to process that—and it's miles better than Chuuya being dead, he feels like now that he isn't facing that, he can deal with anything, but he knows Chuuya is going to be devastated.

"And..." Mori sighs, rubbing his temple. "You should know...Chuuya was already my patient."

Dazai's head snaps up, and before he can get upset, Mori holds up a hand to stop him. "I didn't know, and I don't think he did either." He shakes his head. "It's just so frustrating, he only had to make it a couple of more weeks—"

Dazai pauses, trying to put that one together. "...What?"

Mori stops in his track, realizing his mistake. "I've already violated his privacy a dozen different times already, because you're my son. I don't think it would be fair of me to take it any further—"

"You said he needs two more surgeries—" Dazai cuts him off, his eyes narrowing, "—was he—was he going to have them in two weeks?"

Mori's lips press together tightly, and he doesn't confirm or deny it, but Dazai knows.

Chuuya wasn't going to tell him. Or maybe he was, but—

Dazai can't think of an attempt Chuuya made that was sooner than a few weeks ago, and—this problem has existed a lot longer than that.