Everything or Nothing

Did He Hear What I Just Said?!

"What's wrong with this one?" Chuuya groans, "He's only 5'9, that isn't too tall."

Dazai grumbles, leaning in to look at Chuuya's phone screen, one arm lazily thrown over the back of the booth. "He looks kind of like a delinquent."

"Yeah, so do you," Chuuya sniffs. "And you're not that bad."

"Why don't you just ask Dazai out, then?" Yuan yawns, slurping her tea as she leans back against her current partner, a lanky sophomore named Gin—who honestly seems to have a pretty decent calming effect on her temper.

"Yeah," Chuuya snorts, rolling his eyes, "Right."

Gin gives their girlfriend a look, because with the two leaning against each other in a restaurant booth, Dazai bent over to look at Chuuya's phone—they kind of look like a couple already.

"I'm gonna swipe right on this one."

"No way—"

"Why not?"

"You're both redheads, that would just be a weird match up!"

"Oh," Chuuya snorts sarcastically, "is a boyfriend an aesthetic choice these days?"

"Isn't everything an aesthetic choice today, in this world of instagram filters and facetune—"

"I'm swiping right."

"Wait!"

Ding!

"Oh, we're already matched," Chuuya's eyes widen slightly, "wow, that's fast—" he starts typing, and Yuan can see the way Dazai leans away slightly, his eyes darkening.

"...So," she starts, looking to break up the mood, "you feeling ready for finals?"

Dazai shrugs, tired at the thought. "As I'll ever be," he yawns, "if I'm lucky I'll fail out."

Chuuya snorts, bumping him with his shoulder, "You're such a weirdo."

"What? It's easier than dropping out—then my parents could potentially make me come back—"

"I'm pretty sure you couldn't fail out if you tried."

Dazai pouts at the assertion, grateful for the excuse to openly sulk, "I totally could! I'd just pretend I was you—"

Chuuya actually manages to not get pissed off over that, possibly because he's already getting flirtatious messages on the dating app. "You have this compulsive need to tell someone when they're being stupid, so no, I don't think you could fail a test on purpose."

"Do not!"

"Why did you give the flat earther guy handing out pamphlets on campus a mental break down then?"

"I was bored?"

"Right." Chuuya replies dryly, obviously disbelieving as he hits send on another message. "You're not gonna fail out. You're a bio major, c'mon."

"Biology is hard—"

"And you know your anatomy."

Yuan's eyes flicker back and forth between them, because...

This is obviously flirting, right?

Neither of them seem to notice. "I'll go get the bill," Dazai mutters, standing up and slipping out of the booth, which Chuuya seems to notice when his arm is no longer around his shoulders.

"Are you sure? I can get mine—"

Dazai rolls his eyes, "I just don't want to deal with splitting the check four ways."