Sunstreaker's Charge ✔️

Ch. 22 Opening Up

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
"Are you sure about this?" I ask, "it's only been a week since she watched me kill."
"And you have possibly thirty-one days," Crosshairs reminds me, "maybe two months. We deal with Jamie's mental struggle, and several times, we've had to support her friends Jayce and J.R. We know to be careful, and this requires careful planning."
"She's doing better," Drift points out, "from passing out to letting you stay with her alone during breakfast. I don't think we're at the point where she'll feel safe alone with you for hours yet." 
The potential problem is Lily will think I will force her to somewhere hidden to hurt her.
If she doesn't feel forced to agree to let me join them.

I stop to talk to Luke as he passes me.
"So?" I ask
"It's only been a week, and you killed a soldier the other day. Do you want the truth? Fine, I don't know if Lily will be safe with you. I don't know if I want her to be your friend or like you as she did the day she saw you. I want her to be happy, but I have to protect her. I just...," Luke trails off.
I can tell he's afraid. I don't think it'll matter what I say yet. I'm not ready to tell anyone I like Lily.
I say nothing and walk away.

To my surprise, Rung wants to talk to me.
"About what? How I feel about this situation? Fine, I hate it!"
He asks to talk in my room. I don't want to talk, and it's not like he can help me.

I sit on my bed while Rung sits on Sideswipe's temporarily clean bed.
"Look, I know you hate talking about feelings, and I won't be able to do anything, but it's better to talk about it."
"Fine," I sigh, "I hate how Lily is terrified of me. How she's feeling confused. I can't believe I'm worrying about a human, but I am. I worry because Lily wanted to befriend me, that most of the other Autobots are avoiding her, but I want to be her friend and guardian."
That's as revealing as I'm getting. 
"Drift tells me Lily is progressing, and I trust he's careful. I'll talk to Prime. As I said, there's nothing I can do. It might be a good idea to tell Lily what you told me."
"And if she thinks I'm lying?"
"I heard she trusts you enough to eat breakfast alone with you. Trusting you didn't poison her food is a big step, and I don't think she'll think you're lying."
With that, Rung leaves.

Sideswipe's P.O.V.
I walk into my room and sit on my bed. Sunstreaker lies on his bed, looking at his phone.
"Lily wants to go bowling and asked if we could have you come," I see Sunstreaker smile, "did—did you just smile?!"
"What? No! That's stupid — I never smile, you know that."
"If you say so," I smile, "I'll take that as a yes. We're heading out in the afternoon. The plan is dinner, and Lily brings up getting ice cream. We know we might need to change plans."
"I worry she'll panic thinking I can force her into a hidden place to hurt her while we're in public."
I suspect Drift thought about this, but I'll bring this up. I feel how worried Sunstreaker is.

Drift knows Lily might not feel safe in public with Sunstreaker, even with four other Autobots. Even if she's ok eating breakfast alone with him. It's complicated, but we're making progress. Lily is finishing schoolwork that we've let her slack off on this morning. Considering what Lily has to work on, I don't think I'd call this a break. She's more stressed working on trusting Sunstreaker than schoolwork.

Lily's P.O.V.
I forgot I had schoolwork to finish. I don't know what to think about the possibility that I'll end up in summer school. I may still be staying here, but I don't know what to think. I don't feel terrified, but I still feel uncertain. Yet, I also want to ditch my schoolwork and find Sunstreaker. I'm getting annoyed feeling confused.

Three hours of work is enough for now. Glad it's lunchtime, and the terror twins are waiting for us. I catch Sunstreaker smiling for a second before it's gone. I don't feel anger from him.
The plan is that I go back to doing my schoolwork until two. Then we can go bowling, have dinner and ice cream. That feeling I had when I first met Sunstreaker is returning. How long before it goes away?
"Lily? Are you ok?" Sunstreaker asks. I know I can't lie to him, "Lily?"

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
The color fades from Lily's face, and I have her sit on the floor.
"I will not hurt you. Take deep breaths."
I'm glad Drift told me what to do. Though this was in case she panicked the first morning I asked to join her for breakfast. The others rush over to us, but Drift doesn't butt in.
Drift thinks it's ok to sit by Lily and hug her as she calms down. I regret not getting Lily somewhere more private, seeing a few other Autobots and soldiers watching the situation.
"Plan B?" Sideswipe asks.
"No," Lily quickly answers.
"Yes, for today, ok?" Drift asks.
"Art?" I ask both Drift and Lily.
"Looks like it's time for a nap," Crosshairs points out.
I see Lily is tired, but we want her to eat first. I don't think she's paying attention enough to hear Drift tell me I can carry her back to her room and stay with her.

Lily eats, but we're expecting her to fall asleep. Once Drift believes she has eaten enough, he lets me carry Lily to her room.

Lily is asleep by the time I get to her room. I put her to bed, worried she'll panic seeing me in her room, but I want to stay here.
"She wanted to tell me something," I tell Drift, "something she thought I wouldn't like. Thinking I'd hurt her, and I don't think she's doing as well as we thought."
"This situation is complicated, but she's done well in a week. Unfortunately, setbacks are to be expected at this point."
"H-How likely do you think this will go well?"
"It's too early to say. The problem is there's no time frame for an issue like this, but like Ratchet said, if we can't get Lily to stop being afraid of you before her summer vacation, she might not want to continue trying to befriend you when she gets back."
Damn it, I think nothing I say will make a difference. Lily, forever being terrified of me hurts. I'm not used to this, yet I'm not mad that I have this feeling or love her. I'm disappointed that I didn't realize this sooner. I know it's only been two weeks since we met, but I know I love her.