Sunstreaker's Charge ✔️

Ch. 56 I Put You in Danger

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
My recovery is going well, and I'm released from the medbay today as planned. Lily has been doing ok while I've been in the medbay, but I know she's been afraid complications would arise. Crosshairs and Drift know how to help her. I didn't want her alone either, even if it was only while asleep. Ratchet has been on top of pain management. Which I worried would be a problem knowing Sideswipe would be with Lily, hoping he didn't have to resort to blocking our bond. It's been easier not to worry about Lily since he didn't have to block the bond. 

Lily is happy to see me in the cafeteria. I get my breakfast and sit with her and our friends.  Lily is careful while hugging me. I'm happy she hasn't been crying, but Lily hasn't eaten much for three days. I'm hoping she'll do better now.

We go to the lounge room to watch T.V. for a while before talking to Lily. With approval from Ratchet and Rung, Crosshairs, Drift, and I plan a camping trip for this weekend — if Lily wants to. Rung believes there are clues that'll tell us if she's scared rather than if she doesn't want to go. We wait two hours to talk to Lily.

Lily's P.O.V
Being careful, I lean on Sunstreaker as we watch T.V. I have told no one, but after the camping trip, I realize I'm putting Sunstreaker in danger. How many soldiers would love to get revenge on him, and he's turning soft being with me? He was too worried about protecting me to protect himself. 
"Lily?!" Sunstreaker yells as I run out of the room.
Sorry, Sunstreaker, I know you can't run after me.

I didn't pay attention and ran into Ratchet not far from the lounge room.
"You can't be running yet," he scolds while helping me up, "what has you spoked?"
"Lily?!" Sunstreaker calls as he walks down the hall with Drift. 
"You two need to talk," Ratchet insists.
Drift nods.
"We'll talk about that idea later," Drift tells Sunstreaker. I doubt it's a surprise.
I take Sunstreaker's hand, and he takes me to our art room.

We sit on the floor in silence for what feels like an hour, but I doubt five minutes pass before Sunstreaker talks.
"You're worrying me. I don't want there to be any secrets between us. Do you feel safe here?"
"Yes, otherwise I could have gone home."
"What about me? Do you feel safe around me?"
"I have been terrified that you'd suffer a complication that Ratchet wouldn't tell me about. I don't even know what happened after you were shot —."
"Calm down; I'm ok. I never want to put you through that again."
"I put you in danger. Soldiers see our relationship as a perfect opportunity to get revenge for the soldiers you killed."
By now, tears roll down my face.  Sunstreaker moves me onto his lap and hugs me. I give in and cry.

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
While Lily is on my chest, feeling my heart beating as she cries, I tell Sideswipe what Lily told me and to inform Optimus. I don't know if Rung needs to know what Lily told me or if this is something we need to deal with.
"Shh, it's ok. We'll figure this out. I love you."
I hoped to protect her from me killing humans, but it's proving challenging.  Lily takes a few minutes to calm down. Now's not the time to ask about a weekend camping trip. Maybe she'll be ok tomorrow.
"Go get some water while I change my shirt," I tell her.
My shirt is gross, but it's better than on my chest. I also need more pain relief.

After taking pain relief and changing my shirt, I text Drift about what happened, uncertain if I could have done more. Also, I want to see if the camping trip is canceled or if we can ask Lily tomorrow. I grab some of Sideswipe's candy, noting that I need to hide his stash, before leaving the room.

Lily is waiting in the art room, sitting on the floor. I sit beside her and show her the candy.
It's a quiet few minutes before we hear a knock on the door. Crosshairs and Drift walk in. Drift tells me that Optimus wants to talk to me. Lily is afraid to let me go. This can't be a good sign even if the reason for the meeting isn't bad.

Optimus tells me that Lennox will be lecturing the soldiers that what happened during Lily and I's camping trip is unacceptable. 
"What are you going to do?" Optimus asks me.
"I don't know. I want to protect her from seeing me kill humans, but look what happened," I sigh, "she thinks she puts me in danger, knowing the soldiers think they have a perfect opportunity for revenge. I-I don't know what to do. Before we left for the trip, the same soldier who shot me was looking to hurt her. I got to her in time. Every time we think it's working out, scrap happens. Time to accept my sire was right."
"No, he's wrong. Unfortunately, there are challenges for you to deal with. I will talk to the other Autobots. I believe we can protect Lily without ensuring she's guarded. I know you'll protect yourself."
"I was going to ask Ratchet and Lily's parents if Lily can work out with me, but that won't happen for a while."
I leave Optimus' office and head back to my art room.

I figured Drift would want to talk to me later. Lily is happy, so I doubt it's bad news. I'm distracted and in no mood to paint, but I don't like how Lily is in no mood to paint either. She tells me she wants to go to her room.

Lily lies on her bed and is asleep within fifteen minutes. I didn't think Drift would text me or come by when I told him Lily is asleep.

"... I don't know if she's  terrified that I'm a target or that she potentially is," I explain, "I don't know if I can protect her from seeing me kill without being an easy target."
"You'll figure out the balance. Don't stress over it. She'll be protected."
"So, is the camping trip this weekend canceled?"
"Unless she doesn't want to go, no. She'll be safe. Mirage wants to come as a secret guard again."
"It's scary to think what could have happened if he wasn't on guard Invisible."
"Don't think about it. Think of the future. Things will get better."
With that, Drift leaves. I sit on the other bed and begin to sketch Lily asleep. I hope our last few weeks together before she leaves are full of good memories.