Sunstreaker's Charge ✔️

Ch. 44 After The Meeting

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
Ratchet is going to be concerned finding out the drug he gave me didn't work even though I took it three hours ago. I can't stop throwing up, nor do I know how much time has passed before I feel dizzy. I take my jacket off to make a pillow and lay on the floor until I need to throw up again.

I didn't think I was in a bad enough state to pass out until I woke up in the medbay.
"Sunstreaker?" Sideswipe asks and hugs me the second I look at him.
"Where's Lily?"
I know I should be worried about how I'm in a bad state to need to be in the medbay, but I worry about Lily knowing where I am.
"With Crosshairs and Drift. They are hopefully distracting her with studying for her test. I got the folder for them," I doubt I was out long enough for Lily to ask where I am — that is, if she's not looking for time away from me, "is he ok?" Sideswipe asks Ratchet.
"Yes, and no. I'm treating him for dehydration, but I'm concerned about the level of anxiety he's dealing with, to cause frequent vomiting to where he's dehydrated. I didn't think it was this bad. I gave you the minimum dose of the drug. Out, Sideswipe,"
With a worried expression, Sideswipe leaves, "you're not hiding another medical issue, are you?" Ratchet asks.
"I don't think so. It's the thought that Lily could be terrified of me after hearing my history.  I had a nightmare about Lily leaving me last night. My sire returned in time to see her rage at me, laughing before killing her and me. I don't think a higher drug dose would have helped me. Lily is likely terrified of me. As I said, my sire is right."
I didn't know I was on a monitor until I heard the beeping increase.
"Calm down; I don't think your sire is right, even if Lily needs time to think. I'll message Drift. I want you to stay here for a few hours."
As Ratchet leaves the room, I see I'm getting an infusion that's not even a quarter finished.
I'm afraid to sleep, but I'm tired.

I wake up three hours later to Lily laying on me.
"She's asleep," Sideswipe whispers, "she didn't study for long before getting worried about you," I can feel through the bond that Lily's reaction seeing me in the medbay wasn't great to watch, "she panicked, thinking something serious was wrong. She refused to leave."
"But?"
"We could tell she's uncertain about what she was told."
I'm worried about the debate going on in her mind. I think we just added to her confusion.
The beep indicating the infusion is complete startles Lily up.
"Easy, he's ok," Sideswipe assures her.
Lily looks at me and smiles.

Ratchet walks in to check on me. Lily does not like she has to move.
"Ok, I'm releasing Sunstreaker," Ratchet concludes.
She ate lunch, but that's when she questioned where you were. I think she thought we were told to leave her alone while she studies and we'd meet at lunch.  Sideswipe informs me.

I ask Ratchet if I should talk to Lily about the meeting before leaving. Ratchet believes I should talk to Lily, but she could be afraid to talk to me.

Lily's P.O.V.
Sunstreaker wants to go to our art room. I know he wants to talk first. He stares out the window into the woods. 
"T-tell me what a-are you thinking now?" He asks.
"I don't know," I reply, unable to hide that I'm afraid he will not like this answer, "I-I know I promised never to leave you...."
Sunstreaker looks at me, a tear escaping his eye. I watch him leave the room. I don't know if I should go after him.
I text Sideswipe to find Sunstreaker. I don't know what to do. Since I'm not officially released from the medbay, that's where I go to study.

"Back so soon," Ratchet comments.
"I don't want to talk about it. No, Sunstreaker wasn't nasty. I hurt him."
I hear Ratchet move a chair close to the bed, "sorry, but this isn't something you can choose to talk about or not. What are you thinking after the meeting?"
"More like after he killed one of my captives. How he was as he killed showed that it wasn't his first kill, but I still feel uncertain hearing his history... I don't know....."
"It's clear you love him. You know that means dealing with flaws, but Sunstreaker hopes to protect you from seeing him kill. I told him to give you space if you need time to think."
Then what I saw was his fear that I want to leave the base and never come back.
Ratchet leaves, and I try to take a nap.

I find a note on the table when I wake up;
I love you; I never thought I'd fall for anyone, never mind a human. I don't know how to tell you how you make me feel. I swear to protect you.
There are spots where tears landed on the paper. I hope Sunstreaker didn't leave the base.
Sideswipe sits by the bed on his phone.
"He is still around," Sideswipe assures me, "I feel he's sleeping."
"I don't know what to do, Sideswipe."
"I think you just need time. You love him, but his history is a lot to take in. "

I study for an hour, trying to think if I pass this test, I won't repeat the grade or need summer school, then it's more time with Sunstreaker before I leave for summer camp. This thought changes to whether Sunstreaker will meet us for dinner when Sideswipe tells me it's time to get dinner.

Sunstreaker is talking to Crosshairs, Drift, and Lightning as Sideswipe and I walk down the hall. While I'm uncertain about knowing his history, my mind thinks to run up to him and hug him. Sunstreaker almost falls to the floor. He picks me up to hug me. I wrap my legs around his waist as he hugs me, tempted to kiss him, but how many bots are watching?

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
I carry Lily to a table and sit on a chair, repositioning her on my lap.
I'll make dinner. Sideswipe tells me through the bond.
I don't know what to say. Drift tells Crosshairs something before sitting next to me. Crosshairs goes to the kitchen. I doubt he's here to get a conversation started. His rule about Lily and me having to start a conversation still stands.
"Lily, I love you more than you know. I hope to protect you from seeing me kill. I know it'll be a long time if I can ever change that. I know words prove nothing, but I swear your family and friend are safe."
I don't think I'll ever meet her friend, but Lily still thinks her friend is in danger.
I didn't think Lily would kiss me.
"Ewe, my eyes!" Sideswipe complains.
"Seriously?" Crosshairs comments and whacks Sideswipe's arm.
Lily laughs at what he does. I hope things get better. Not sure if it's too soon to plan a camping trip and show Lily the spots we've painted.