Sunstreaker's Charge ✔️

Ch. 23 She Needs to Tell You

“Come on, let’s go to our spot on the lake,” Sunstreaker insists.
I can’t believe we have a favorite spot on the lake, and we found it on our camping trip. The spot we like camping isn’t as open as camping plots at the national park.
Sunstreaker planned this perfectly; we get to our spot in time for the sunset. Sitting on the ground by the lake.
“Damn, what a beautiful picture,” he smiles.
“It is; we need to bring our painting supplies one day.”
“No, I mean you. I mean, that’s a beautiful sight,” Sunstreaker explains, “but not as beautiful as you. “
He pulls me in for a kiss that quickly turns into a make out session. He’d take my clothes off if he could, but we’d be in trouble and lose everything. Even though I want to do the same. I know I’m definitely too young to get pregnant, but I want to have Sunstreaker’s baby.

Sunstreaker’s P.O.V.
I hate watching Lily wake up confused. This can only mean she has a good dream, but that’s just it; it was a dream. Even Drift didn’t think she’d cry. I leave the room, hoping Lily will talk to Drift.
I go to my room and sit on my bed.

“What happened?” Sideswipe asks.
“Lily woke up confused, then cried. How the frag are the nanobots helping when all she’s getting is good dreams that are just dreams?!”
“Well, look at the progress made in a week — until today.”
“Which might cause Lily to go backward. Back to being terrified to where she passes out seeing me.”
I still want to finish the piece I’ve been working on for Lily.

Sideswipe’s P.O.V.
Damn, this is a challenge for Sunstreaker. I can feel how worried he is. Also, how much he cares for Lily. He no longer wants to go to Cybertron unless it helps Lily.
A little time passes before Drift texts me. He got Lily to talk to him. Things that she needs to say to Sunstreaker when she’s ready. Rather than one of us being a messenger.
Drift believes the things Lily needs to tell Sunstreaker herself will help their relationship. I don’t like how he adds that Lily is still confused and would struggle if she knew nanobots are influencing her dreams. Drift is hoping we’ll be able to go out tomorrow and we will continue our dinner routine.

I find Drift talking to Luke, likely about what Lily told him. Now I’m curious what Lily told Drift for Drift to tell Luke, who’d tell his and Lily’s parents. I suspect I’ll find out one day.
I only hope she’s not becoming suicidal.
Sideswipe?! What happened?! Sunstreaker asks through the bond.
Drift got Lily to tell him stuff, and he’s also talking to Luke. I don’t think it’s anything serious. I explain, happy it’s not a complete lie.
I knew Sunstreaker would worry, but I think he worries about Lily even without what I told him.

Sunstreaker’s P.O.V.
I worry Sideswipe is hiding something serious from me, but Drift wouldn’t, especially if the issue is Lily is suicidal. This would require changing or even pausing our plans. I struggle to work on my art for a half-hour before thinking I need to go to Rung’s office.

Seeing Crosshairs and Lily walk out of Rung’s office is concerning rather than reassuring, as I notice Lily has been crying. Rung walks out of his office and crouches down to Lily’s level. I don’t know what he’s saying. I wait for Crosshairs and Lily to leave before approaching Rung.
“I know you have the same policy as Ratchet, but please tell me she’s not suicidal?” I ask.
“No, but I worry she’s getting close to that point,” Rung sighs, “she’s so confused with the nanobots influencing her dreams but not her thoughts during the day — or not enough to avoid confusion. I don’t know if Ratchet knows how to program the nanobots from Fred’s lab or if we should take the chance. The last thing I can say is that Lily has told Drift some of her thoughts, and he hopes to help her tell you. Sideswipe doesn’t know what she said, so you can’t ask him. Trust me, you’ll be happier hearing Lily tell you,” Rung smiles.
I walk away, knowing there’s nothing else he can tell me.

I’m almost done with the piece for Lily. Not sure if I should do a portrait yet. Losing track of time, realizing finishing this took an hour.
Drift: we’re still doing the routine and, hopefully, a movie after dinner.
I don’t know about this. I think the best way to show Lily I won’t hurt her is to return to Cybertron.

Drift is talking to Lily as I approach the cafeteria. I keep my distance until they’re done talking. I worry Lily was already panicking, but Drift will tell me later.
Sideswipe stops me before I go into the cafeteria with the others.
“I got some cookies for Lily. Here, you can tell her you got them,” Sideswipe tells me, “too bad it’s not February. I remember seeing heart-shaped cookies.”
“I’d destroy them if you got them!”
Sideswipe still smiles as I walk into the cafeteria.

The best we get in terms of conversation with Lily is talking about the plan for tonight and the pending plan for tomorrow. At least she’s happy to watch a movie and possibly play video games before bed. She knows I’ll be with her, my brother, Crosshairs, Drift, and Lightning. It’s good to hear Lily suggests going out for breakfast tomorrow and bowling in the afternoon. I hope we can keep our plans and Lily isn’t afraid if things don’t go well tomorrow. 
Lily is happy about the cookies.
Told you. Sideswipe tells me through the bond.
After she thought I poisoned them three days ago.
And how long has she been trusting you don’t poison her breakfast? This is complicated. While she’s feeling confused, I think she’ll be ok one day and worry the next.

Lily lets me sit next to her, but Drift has to sit on the other side of her for her to relax.
Halfway through the movie, Drift and I watch Lily choose to lay on me. I take the chance of her realizing what she’s doing by having her wait for me to grab a pillow. Lily still lies down on me. Though Drift has to move to make room for her legs.
Lily is asleep by the end of the movie. Sideswipe takes a picture before I carry Lily to her room, but I’m not staying with her.

Lily wakes up as I put her to bed, but she’s half asleep.
“Shh, I’m leaving,” I whisper, covering her with the blankets.
She closes her eyes, trusting I’m leaving.

“I’d rather wait until summer to see if she’ll let you stay with her,” Drift explains, knowing how disappointed I am, “add after the nightmares stop.”
I nod and go to my room. I only hope Lily will no longer feel confused soon.