The reason that keeps me alive - BokuAka [English Version]

Chapter 18

Contains Lemon – hint

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Days passed.

Akaashi's mother – even though he still found it very difficult to realise – had told him that she would take care of everything concerning the lawyer and the lawsuit itself. For the time being, it was not possible to make more contact because she was still not allowed to approach him.

For the time being, he stayed with Bokuto as planned.

Exactly one week after the incident with his father, he had become somewhat accustomed to life in the Bokuto house, but nevertheless he found it increasingly difficult to suppress the voices in his head, for they came more and more often.

And he found it increasingly difficult to hide his situation.

He did it almost every day by now, and in addition, where the coach knew and Bokuto probably already suspected, the others in the team or at school increasingly asked him what had happened to his hand.
And no one bought the excuse about making lunch, because a new bandage was put on it every day.

He no longer had any excuses at hand, so he mostly just ignored the question, which was even more conspicuous than anything else.

One day, Akaashi had just finished showering and was about to do it again when his head was too droned with self-reproach.
However, he could no longer find the shard.

He searched his whole bag, everything he had taken with him, but it was no longer there.

Panic spread through him and his body shook again when he couldn't find it anywhere, not even in Bokuto's room.

When he turned around, he was startled to see him suddenly standing in the doorway.

There was something in his hand, his look seemed desperate, then he closed the door and Akaashi knew immediately that he was holding the shard.

Two seconds later, his suspicions were confirmed when Bokuto stood in front of him and held the small remnant of the glass bottle in front of his face.
He was close to tears, Akaashi noticed immediately.

„Tell me the truth: are you cutting yourself?"

Akaashi looked deep into his golden brown eyes, when tears came himself, he looked away.

„Kaashi?"

The setter sat down on the large bed and buried his face in his hands, and immediately he felt Bokuto's warm body against his as he pulled him into a hug.

„I...I just...feel better...then..."

The elder stroked his head reassuringly. „Keiji..."

Akaashi cried on his friend's shoulder – as he had so many times before – and Bokuto held him, stroking his shoulder, just letting it all out.

A few minutes later they were lying opposite each other – Akaashi's head on Bokuto's chest, his hand on the back of his head.

„Why didn't you talk to me?" asked Bokuto.

Akaashi remained in his position. „I didn't want to worry you so much..."

The ace took the younger man's head by the jaw and turned it so he could look him in the eye – red, sad, desperate eyes.
„I worry more when I'm in ignorance." Bokuto brushed a black strand from his face.

Akaashi turned on his back and stared at the bandage. Slowly he untied it.

Bokuto took his arm and stroked the red wounds.
„How long have you been doing this?"