The reason that keeps me alive - BokuAka [English Version]

Chapter 14

Akaashi-PoV

At some point, no, more often than not in your life, you will encounter moments when you think it's all over. You may feel desperate. If that should happen, and you remember what I am about to tell you, think of what you have experienced up to that point.

Can it be worse than anything you've already been through?

I don't know who I heard that from once. I just remember a female voice sobbing. It went through my head many times, and sometimes it even helped to catch me again.

Those minutes, from when Bokuto's emo mode started to when I was substituted, felt more like a millisecond, and with every second that passed, the accusations in my head grew.

The coach called me in and I was now sitting on the bench.

The first time.

"I've replaced you so that on the one hand you can rest, and on the other hand you can watch from the outside for a change."
His words brought me back to reality.

The referee blew his whistle for the start.

"Akaashi."
"Yes?"
"I know it."

I flinched for a moment. "What?"
Coach looked to me. "That that wasn't a slip on your hand."

To be honest, I hadn't really made an effort to hide it, that's why it was only a matter of time for me before someone noticed.
Still, I kept quiet.

"I can tell you're not feeling well. And I'm not the only one."
I followed his gaze, which led to Bokuto, who was still holding his back.
"I don't know the background. But I know you don't really talk to anyone. Not even to Bokuto."

My throat felt raw, as if I had forgotten how to speak.

"I understand you. I had a phase like that once too."
"You did?", I muttered.
"Trust me, once you let it all out, it gets better-"
"That's what everyone says." I propped my head up with my hands. "I've already done that. And it hasn't changed anything about my situation."
"It doesn't." He turned back to the game. "We're like a family, our team. You're not unimportant here. You're important to all of us, and Bokuto most of all."

Bokuto now came back to the front and I noticed him glance briefly at me.

Otherwise, all our attention was back on the game.

Bokuto-PoV

Kaaashiii...
Kaaaaashiiiii...

This was all my fault.

Man, why couldn't I even manage to control my emotions?
What kind of captain and ace was I?
It was my fault that Kaashi was pressured.

"Bokuto?"

I looked to Anahori, who was looking at me a little uncertainly.

"Yeah?"

"You know, I think it's time to show them how great our team is."
I couldn't understand a word he said.

"What?"

"Well... Sakusa might be in the top three, but there's something he doesn't like that we could turn to our advantage."

Konoha turned to us. "Wait, are you talking about what I think?"

"Torio deliberately called Akaashi out on his weakness, deliberately putting him out of action." Komi stroked her chin thoughtfully. "But I don't rate Sakusa as someone who is so easily rattled."
"Except on this one."

"Could you speak Japanese, please?", I muttered.

"Payback, Bokuto." Konoha grinned. "Let's challenge his weakness for once."