Clair de Lune - K.M.

c h a p t e r t w e n t y s i x

Time is an interesting thing. I've spent a lot of my life waiting to die, wanting everything to be over, and those years stretched into what felt like centuries. I felt every single second tick by and it always seemed like things only got worse as time continued to plod along slowly. A slow, never-ending cycle of pain.

Things are different now that I really am dying. Time is beginning to slip by faster and faster, beginning to move so quickly that I can't tell how much has passed by the time Damon sits down next to me on the ground with a sigh.

I continue to stare blankly ahead but I don't have to look at him to know that his worried eyes are trained on my face.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you pity me. I fucking hate it."

"Stella-"

"What did Elena have to say?" I interrupt, wanting to direct the conversation anywhere other than my impending doom.

"She's in the car. Matt was getting her out of town but when she heard about Klaus, she chose to turn around. She went back for him."

I can hear the hurt in Damon's voice. Elena was forced to make a choice and she chose Stefan. I can only imagine the pain he's in, but I can't bring myself to comfort him. Not when my own pain and grief is threatening to crush me at any moment. I can feel it sitting heavily on my chest and causing my heart to slam against my ribs.

"I guess it's just us then," I say quietly. "Happen to have any bourbon?"

"I wish I did, kid."

"You could try and make it, you know," I tell him. "You might make it it her in time."

"No point. She made her decision."

The hopelessness in Damons voice causes me to finally look at him. He looks utterly defeated and honestly I can't blame him. We lost. Hard.

"She loves you."

"Not enough," he says, glancing over and meeting my eyes. "Can I tell you something?"

"I have a feeling you're going to even if I say no."

"Elena told me that if maybe we'd met first, things could have been different. She doesn't remember it because I compelled her to forget but we did. We did meet first."

I raise my eyebrows at him.

"Really?"

Damon nods.

"I met her that night while she was waiting for her parents to pick her up."

I remember that night. It was a couple days before the full moon and I was particularly on edge, so I spend the evening at the party drinking practically anything I could get my hands on. Tyler had to basically carry me home. It was a time in my life where I was so broken I couldn't bring myself to care about anyone else. I didn't even see Elena until she came back to school even though my mom had told me about the accident the next morning.

"I was still hung up on Katherine and I thought that Elena was her," Damon continues, a strangely peaceful look on his face. "It only took about three seconds of conversation to know that she was nothing like Katherine. She was good. She had dreams, things that she wanted from life. The same things that I did."

"Why'd you compel her to forget?"

"She wasn't part of my plan at the time," he says, voice full of regret.

"What could have been, I guess," I say, resting my head back and looking up at the coffin above us. Damon nods sadly and we both fall into a solemn quiet, not sure what else there is to say. I think that we're both content to spend the rest of what little time we have left with the idea of what could of been.