stay (jenna ortega x female reader) AU (editing and revising)

chapter 8

Your POV

We sat on the roof and watched the sunrise, not a word said. There was a weird vibe in the air, drooping down and casting gloom over what was thought to be a happy feeling. I woke up this morning and remembered everything- though I wasn't sure how. I felt guilty lying to Jenna, but I wanted to see if she would be the first to bring up what was looming on both of our minds. Brief disappointment fell over me as she remained silent about it.

"I should go." I said, getting up.

"Take some of my clothes and change. You smell awful." She said, smiling softly.

"Thanks." I replied back, returning the smile.

I took an oversized t-shirt and some shorts of hers, all the while my mind was still groggy and barely functioning. I stood in front of the mirror above the sink and stared tiredly at my reflection. I looked like I had been living on the streets all of my life and hadn't got a blink of sleep in years.

I sighed and decided to put my hair up in a messy, tangled bun. I left the bathroom and planned on going ahead and leaving Jenna's place, when I spotted her in the kitchen. I could tell from the aroma that she was making toast, which made me realize how hungry I was. I thought better of myself, seeing how I had already been enough of a burden crashing her apartment like this.

I walked up to her back and slung my arms around her stomach, hugging her from behind. I buried my nose into the crook over her neck, overwhelmed with gratitude. The hug seemed to surprise her, as she stopped what she was doing. She pulled away, turning around to face me.

"Thank you for taking care of me." I said softly.

"Of course." She replied. Jenna pulled me into a hug, wrapping her arms around my neck. I had to bend down to hug her back, and the smell of her perfume soaked into me as we embraced.

"I'll see you around, yeah?" I asked, pulling away.

"Always." She nodded. I gave a small smile before walking out the door.

As I walked home, I found it hard to step further and further away from Jenna. I felt like the conversation on the roof was left unfinished, and was going to drive me insane without completing it. In all honesty, I wanted to spill out my attraction towards her. I wanted to tell her she took up all of the space in my mind, every slight touch of her skin against mine made me crazy, and how I could stare and admire every artistically crafted feature of her face for hours.

Yet, I had not found the courage to do so. I felt the weight of rejection pushing me back into hiding, forcing me to push away any emotion I had for her. It was easier if I could ignore my true feelings, which were becoming increasingly more difficult to maintain.

After last night, it felt as though we were a big question mark. The conversation this morning had left me even more unsure, and made me lean toward burying my feelings and calling us friends. Friends may be impossible to accomplish, with my undying and affluent infatuation for her- I would only be daydreaming of becoming something more. However, I knew losing her completely was even worse, so rolling up and burning my emotions sounded like the better option.

I rubbed the temples of my head as I entered the front gate of my house. I was hoping I could sneak in without my mom questioning where I'd been, seeing how she has to know every detail of my life.

I slowly twisted the front door handle and pushed it open as quietly as I could. It only made a few small creaks as I walked in, and I let out a sigh of relief. I looked around the bottom floor of the house, searching for where she might be. I spotted her dead asleep on the couch, empty beer bottles taking up the coffee table in front of her. The TV was left on playing a random sales channel, implying that she had drunk herself to sleep.