Hidden Love

~Tag, You're It~

"I'm getting a shower!" I yelled throughout the house, with no response. Xandra is still here, talking with my mom. I'm glad she's kind of opening up, she always seemed to open up more with Xandra. 

Once I get in the bathroom I set down my phone and turn on my playlist before starting my shower. Technically it isn't "mine" since me and my mom share it, we also have our personal ones but mine doesn't have a shower. I hate that fact, because many times my mom has walked in on me. I soon got undressed and got in the shower.

Soon tag you're it came on, and I couldn't help but sing along, it reminds me of what happens..almost makes me forget in a way while still remembering.

Run through parking lot

He chased me and he wouldn't stop

'Tag you're it, Tag Tag, you're it'

Grabbed my hand, pushed me down, took the words right out my mouth

Soon I got out as I continued to sing along, not even looking up as I dried my legs. I heard a small sigh and I looked up, to a probably drunk Xandra who had a cigarette in between her pointer and middle finger. I swear, I screamed bloody murder. "God, calm down! You're hurting my ears!" Xandra said loudly. I looked at her as I covered my body up with my towel and paused the music. "How long have you been there.." I said as I stared at her. Something about her made me so scared, but also so fearless towards her. "Since you started your little concert." Xandra said with a drag of her cigarette.

"God..okay what do you need?" I ask as I put my head in my hands. "Olivia wanted me to tell you she made dinner, no clue why she couldn't tell you. Anyways what does that song mean to you?" Xandra asks as she leans against the counter. "What? It's just a song.." I said, lying through my teeth. Xandra faces away as I remove the towel and quickly slide on my underwear and bra. "You're good to look now." I say with a sigh as I grab my shorts. "Quit lying. What does it mean?" Xandra asked again, more serious this time. "I..." I stutter out, a loss for words, as I now just stare at her with my shorts on, but still just a bra. "Tell me." Xandra said, her words stringing out like honey.

God this woman is gonna drive me insane..in a good way. "Just reminds me of the past is all." I say with a small sarcastic smile as I slide on my tank top. "Interesting song to remind you of the past, what happened." Xandra said, much less of a question, now just a statement. "Him. My father. He did it." I say with no emotion as I look down at the sink as I brush through my knotted hair. "Where is he currently?" Xandra asks, happy that she broke me open. "He left my mom when I was..9. Don't tell anybody please...my mom hates talking about it, she only knows part of it. She only knows about the abuse." I say as I still stare at the sink, avoiding eye contact. "Abuse?" Xandra asks, caught surprised. "Yeah..? Abuse and rape, now can we just..avoid the topic." I say with a sigh. "Ofcourse darling, thanks for telling me." Xandra leans over and whispers in my ear.

My cheeks heat up due to this little action, and oh boy, does she notice it. "Look like you got a fever, you get flustered easily kid." Xandra says with a sly smile as she walks out. I manage a chuckle, but I think back to the conversation that happened a few minutes ago. 

I've never told anybody else...why did I tell her? It's like I'm her puppet...I gladly will be though..

(SOMEONE'S GOT RAGING MOMMY ISSUES FOR XAN 👀)