Hidden Love

~You're Lying~

That kiss...it felt like nothing else before, it felt like nothing ever mattered, it felt like the world stopped spinning, just for that one kiss.

Xandra pulled away with a smile as she held my cheek in her hand, that I practically melted into. "I love you y/n." Xandra said plainly, but with a smile like nothing, not even my response would matter in that moment. "No you don't." I say as I back up slightly, I'm not gonna believe her. No way she could love me. "Y/n...how do I say this, I've always had a sort of crush on you...but I was too ignorant to see it." Xandra said as she pulled her hand back, staring at her lap now. "You're lying." I say as I stare at her. I'm not gonna believe her lies. "I have patience y/n. I know, this seems...probably heart crushing for you, but just believe me please." Xandra practically begs. "No you don't. You don't know my feelings, you don't know how much I hurt, you don't know how much I healed." I say as I back up a little more, my back bumping the arm of the couch. "I don't know those things y/n, would you quit arguing with me, I can show you how much I love you." Xandra says, finally looking at me. "No you can't." I state plainly, staring at her widely. "Goddamit! If I can't then I will break my own self down! I will break myself down, if I cannot tell you or show you how much I love you! God...I'm sorry for raising my voice..I'm sorry." Xandra says, raising her voice then lowering it.

I just stare at her, everything finally clicking in place. "You're lying." I say one last time as I stand up and rush out of the living room up to the guest room. She's lying...right? Nobody could love me, I'm unlovable. Especially Xandra of all people. No way, no way. She's lying. She's gotta be lying. But that kiss told me otherwise...but she's lying. But her words told me otherwise...actions speak louder than words. She's lying....right? She can't not be lying, if she's not lying then....there is no then because she is lying. Right?