Hidden Love

~The Truth~

I gulp down the nervousness, can't believing I'm about to admit my feelings. "The truth is..I love you. Like more than a friend...and I've had a crush on you for a while now and since you got married I thought if I ran away it would make me not think about you and silence my crush on you.." I Mutter out as I stare down at my lap, not daring to look at her.

The silence grows and grows between us, it stretches for minutes. The silence ends when I hear the slam of the hospital door, and look up, and nobody is left. That's when tears start to fall. "God...how dumb can I be.." I whisper as I cry into my hands. Soon my mom and the doctor comes back in and I just lay on the bed, tears still falling down my cheeks. My mom walks up to me and grabs my hand before shuddering out a breath. "Xandra told me. And then she stormed out...she looked sad, angry, every...bad emotion." My mom says as she holds my hand. When she stormed out, I was expecting something bad, but I wasn't expecting it to tear my heart to pieces. I let out a quiet sob due to my mom's words and I hear the door click again, I look up just to see the doctor leaving. "Will she be back..?" I ask as I stare at the door. "She told me that she'd be back later, she has to think." My mom says as she sits down. I just nod and lay back down, drifting off to sleep quickly.

A few hours later

I wake up and the sun is setting outside. "Y/n..." my mom whispers. "Hm?" I groan out. "Xandra is here." My mom says as she stands up and heads for the door. I just nod as memories fade back. I lean up a bit as Xandra walks in and quickly sits down in the seat my mom was in. I just look at her, nervous to start the conversation. "Hey." Xandra starts as she looks down at her lap. "Hi." I respond. "So...I came to...seriously. Talk about earlier." Xandra says as she looks up at me, her eyes watery. "Alright." I say with a nod as I sit up on the bed, sitting on my legs. "Is uh..what you said earlier, true?" She asks. "Sadly, very." I say, holding back tears. She nods and goes back to looking at her lap. "Then I need to tell you the truth." She says with a gulp. "About...what?" I ask, curious.

"Larry. Our relationship...it's not what it seems to be...I want to divorce him so bad. He's basically constantly never home, and when he is, he's just abusive, mentally and physically." Xandra says as tears start to fall. So...the bruises I saw were from him Im guessing. "Are the bruises from him?" I ask as I look at her shin, seeing one, and a few scattered on her wrists. I've never seen her...this...fragile. She nods slowly and I force myself up despite the aching pain in my ribs. I walk over to her and just engulf her in a hug. After she calmed down she demanded I get back on the bed, so I did. "Now...let's talk about..your truth." Xandra says as she gulps. I nod my head. "Nothing will be able to work out...plus..." Xandra stops herself, taking in a breath and letting one out. "Plus...what?" I ask, scared, as tears start to roll down my cheeks. "I see your pain...but..I don't like you back." Xandra says, staring at her lap. "I..I completely understand.." I say through tears. "You are very comforting, and kind, and nice...but I honestly see you as a daughter of my friend." Xandra says, barely any emotion planted on her face. "That's what I am.." I say with a nod. "I think it'd be better if we avoided eachother...." Xandra says as she starts to stand. "How long?" I ask, not wanting to hear truly. "For...a while. I will probably stay away from your mom as well just...in case." Xandra said. "Please stay in contact with her...she truly needs a friend." I say with a nod as I start to lay back down. "Well...I wish you well y/n." She says as she heads towards the door. "If you want to, I bet you could pull through with that divorce. I wish you well as well. I hope you live a happy life." I say with a smile as I roll over, tears still falling down my cheeks. 

Once she leaves that's when I loose all control, sobbing loudly, and cursing. "Fuck me...I'm so dumb..." I groan into my pillow as I loudly sob. That's the first time I've cried myself to sleep in a while. Honestly, I get her point...my hearts just...crushed, burned, rotted, and...shattered.