Meori Apeuda

Chapter 9

"Oh my god, I'm still so full, I can't breathe!" I wailed, one hand on my belly. Chan laughed, starting the engine and pulling out of the parking place.

"You didn't even finish, girl, stop whining!" - "Ey, big guy, not everybody can inhale one pound of fried chicken with rice and live to tell the tale!" I shot back and we both laughed.

It was already getting dark outside, we had spent the whole afternoon on that rooftop, talking.

Chan had told me about how he had come to Korea on his own at 13, chasing his dream of becoming an idol. I was completely taken aback and shot one question after the other at him - how he had felt being here without his family, how he adapted, if it had been more fun or more intimidating to start this journey completely on his own - and he answered them good-naturedly.

His eyes had sparked the most, when he had told me, how he had handpicked every single one of his members and why. His love for these guys was unmistakable. He had praised them, talked about their special talents, their positions in the group.

I now knew that Lee know and Hyunjin were absolutely stunning dancers, Han was an overall ace, equally good at rapping, singing AND dancing, just a little lost sometimes, Changbin was an amazing rapper, who wanted to appear dark but had a soft core, Seungmin's and I.N's voices were absolutely unrivaled and Felix with his dark voice and the angel face was a chapter on his own.

"You absolutely adore them, right?" I had asked, smiling, and he had shrugged his shoulders and simply stated: "They're my brothers...my Kids"

All in all it had been a wonderful afternoon, I felt happy and content, smiling all the time. I should have known that it couldn't last too long...

The music on the radio changed and the first notes of Chicago's "Hard Habit to break" sounded, causing me to freeze as a whole in terror, my hands beginning to shake. I tried desperately to control my breath, so I won't start hyperventilating.

"Turn it off....Chan...please...turn....turn that off..." I croaked, my fingernails digging into my palms, breaking the skin.

Chan threw a quick glance at me, immediately turned off the radio and parked the car at the side of the road. He jumped out of the car and appeared only seconds later at my door, opened it and unbuckled my seatbelt.

He put one arm on my back and the other under my knees, lifting me swiftly out of the car. My gasping for breath sounded like little screams and I lost my fight against the panic attack. My head was reeling, making me feel nauseous, my chest felt completely constricted, making it impossible to breathe properly.

I heard Chan calling my name, trying to snap me out of it, but I was already back in our old bedroom. Chicago played on endless repeat in the background. I was lying half naked on the floor, half conscious, my nose bleeding from his hits. He sat on the bed, looking at me, smoking his cigarette, like he always did when he was nearly done with me. I felt relieved, the cigarette had always been my sign that the torture was coming to an end.

"I'm addicted to you babe, you're a hard habit to break..."

He leaned down, grabbing me by a fistful of my hair and pulled me up. I winced, but hadn't even enough strength to cry out, even if it hurt like hell.

"You little piece of shit...You are responsible for that yourself, you know that, right?" he whispered, his breath reeking of alcohol. "RIGHT?" He bellowed when I didn't answer, slapping me with the back of his hand across the face. I bit my tongue and tasted blood.

"Y-yes...yes, Sir." I whimpered and he threw me back to the ground, my head hitting the bedroom floor with a bang.

"You're pathetic...You are lucky to have me Kaylee, looking after you! Who else would want such an ugly piece of crap? And what do I get as a thank you? Disobedience."