Meori Apeuda

Chapter 25

I reached the door of the Dance Practise room and carefully looked through the window. Chan was sitting with his back leaned against the mirror, his phone in his hands, staring blankly ahead. No trace of his usual, always present smile. It hurt me, seeing him like that.

But I hesitated going inside. What if he wanted to be left alone? What if he wasn't in the mood to talk? I never had this situation in my life, that I had to prove to someone that my affection, my ...my love belonged to them.

I nearly tripped over that last thought. But then I shook my head. I was in love. If I wanted to admit it or not, I was already head over heels in this. Might as well learn to live with it.

I risked another peek at Chan, who still hadn't moved and then sat down in front of the door, grabbing my phone from my back pocket. I opened my message app and started texting him.

"Hey. Where are you?"

The symbol of him typing an answer appeared. "Dance practice room. I'll be back up soon, don't wait for me with the cake."

"But I don't want to start without you. Are you okay? You looked...troubled...?

I saw him typing, stop, typing, stop...then: "You saw me? :-/"

"Yes I did. You looked sad. Will you tell me what's up? Please? :)" I added the smiley at the end, even though I wasn't feeling like smiling at all. But I had to keep up the facade, if I didn't want Minho to get in trouble.

"I'm...feeling confused." - "Why?" - "I thought something was quite clear, but now I'm not so sure anymore..." - "Chris, mate, I know, women are known for being good at deciphering cryptic, underlying messages, but...In that point I'm a fairly poor example. Could you please tell me what I did wrong? Where are your thoughts headed? Because you seem to avoid me, so it has to be something I did or say ...." I typed, throwing caution overboard and trying to lure a direct answer out of him.

The dots appeared again and I had the feeling that it took forever, until his message finally appeared.

"I like you. Really, REALLY like you, K. But I'm not sure...about you. I don't want to share your heart with someone else, if you know what I mean..."

I let my head fall back against the wall and pressed my eyes shut. My heart seemed to jump with joy and I looked at my phone again, rereading the first part again and again. He liked me. More than liked me? Butterflies soared in my stomach and I grinned like an idiot.

I tried to think of an appropriate answer, but my thoughts were racing and tumbling over each other. So I chose another way. I connected my phone via bluetooth with the music system in the practice room, as Felix had shown me yesterday, and started my music app.

I searched for the song "You're like coming home" from Lonestar and started it. Then I switched back to the messenger and typed: "Just listen ok...? <3"

Silently I got back on my feet and peeked through the small window. Chan had leaned his head against the mirror, his eyes closed and his arms crossed before his chest. He did listen to the lyrics, like I had asked.

'Ridin' restless under broken sky, Weary traveller, somethin' missin' inside,

Always lookin' for a reason to turn around. Desperate for a little peace of mind.

Just a little piece of what I left behind: Well, I found it now: you're like coming home.'

I opened the door quietly and tiptoed over to him, stopping a few feet away, waiting for the refrain. Music has always been an easier way for me to express my feelings, rather than talking about them. I took a deep breath and when the refrain started, I sang along with it.