Meori Apeuda

Chapter 39

I felt the booming bass to my core, as if it was soaking into every fibre of my being. Sweat dripped off my face and my muscles already ached, but I wasn't ready to stop. I took the starting position and went through the choreography that I had thought up in the last hour again.

When Chan had let me out of his arms on the balcony I had fled inside and had looked for a place to hide. I was so angry at him, trying to throw away his career for nothing, that I just couldn't look at him right now. After a few minutes I had found myself at the door of the Practise room and without hesitating I had entered.

Empty bottles of the Practice session that happened this morning were still standing at the little counter that also contained the fridge and the sound system. Absent-mindedly I collected and threw them away, my mind still reeling.

I just hoped Chan would leave me alone for just a few minutes. I needed time by myself. I never had this much contact with people for years and slowly I was feeling overwhelmed. Since he had brought me home with him on monday I practically never had time to think.

Sighing I let myself fall onto the couch that stood in the corner and stared at the ceiling. But sitting down did me no good, I felt restless. After a minute I stood up again and started aimlessly walking through the room, finally stopping at the sound system.

Contemplating for a few seconds I finally crouched down and started it. I turned on the Bluetooth on my phone and started my music app. Scrolling through my playlists I finally found my "rage" list. A collection of several rough, bass heavy songs that I liked to listen to when I was in a bad mood.

I found the song that spoke to me the most at that moment, started it on loop and laid my phone on top of the counter. A distorted electric guitar started, followed by bass and drums.

Standing in front of the mirror that covered the whole side of the room I shook out my arms and legs, stretched a little bit and then closed my eyes, just listening to the music. I had no idea what I wanted to do, but decided to let the music carry me.

Everything you say to me (Takes me one step closer to the edge)

(And I'm about to break)

I need a little room to breathe('Cause I'm one step closer to the edge)

(I'm about to break)

Chesters voice filled the room and I started moving, watching myself in the mirror. My steps were quite timid at first, reserved.

I find the answers aren't so clear

Wish I could find a way to disappear

But with every repetition they became more secure, more accurate and I added more and more steps to the dance. I felt my heart racing at the unfamiliar strain, but I enjoyed it. It made me feel alive.

All these thoughts they make no sense

I find bliss in ignorance

Nothing seems to go away

Over and over again

Over and over I repeated the steps that came to my mind until it was a full flow. 'OK, one last time, Kaylee...' I thought and grinned, because I had told that to myself for at least five times now.

Whispering the lyrics under my breath, counting my steps I repeated all the steps and positions again, although my muscles were screaming already.

And I'm about to break!

I jumped as high as I could, turning in the air and landed in a crouching position. I ended on exactly the last note. Breathing hard, I held the pose for a few seconds and then relaxed.