Meori Apeuda

Chapter 10

Everyday noises woke me up. I yawned, stretched and reached for my phone to check the time. When I activated the screen a smile crossed my face when I saw my homescreen picture.

Chan had sent me the pictures we had taken at the vantage point and I had picked the one where both of us smiled happily at the camera, our cheeks rosy, my hands around his neck, my chin on his shoulder.

We hadn't seen each other in the three days since then, because of some schedules the guys had to attend even though they actually were on a break, but those special photo shoots and interviews could not have been cancelled, so they had been busy.

I had used the time to read through the copies of Felix's Korean studies, trying to remember the meaning of the Hangul letters and improving my vocabulary. It wasn't as hard as I had thought to learn the letters, that went fairly well, but to understand the word they were forming was something completely different. The different grammar rules also gave me quite a headache.

Besides studying I had also raided YouTube and looked up Stray Kids Videos, discovering Chan's Vlives that way. He called them "Chan's Room" and they seemed to be a weekly format. He talked to STAYs - the name of their fandom - and played his favourite music for them, answering their questions and telling news from his everyday life.

It was endearing to see him in his 'natural habitat', he looked so happy and energetic, especially on stage. He seemed to have an endless amount of energy, dancing, jumping around, waving to the audience, smiling, singing... Honestly, I'd be dead after at least five minutes.

But it also made something very clear to me: He was loved by so many people, so many women out there. Who all thought that they could be his special one, THE one person that caught his eye and his heart.

He was an idol, a child of the spotlight. Handsome, loveable, funny, optimistic. In other words: The complete opposite of me. To hope that his interest would last longer than one or two weeks was absolutely delusional. But then...it was more than someone like me could ever hope for, so why not enjoy it while it lasted?

Chan had written to me every single day. Grinning, I scrolled through our messages. Chan, wishing me a good morning. Chan, telling me that he was bored, waiting around for the photographer. Chan, asking if I had eaten something today. Chan, getting irritated when I answered "No".

Laughing I looked at the army of emoticons he had sent afterwards, scolding me through them.

The problem was that by now I was completely out of money. Meaning my fridge was empty as was my stomach since yesterday. But there were more severe problems coming my way: In two days I'd have to leave this room and I had no idea what to do about it.

In this second my phone started buzzing. Cara's Number appeared on the screen and I bolted upright. We were only supposed to call each other in emergencies. What happened?

Breathless I picked up. "Hello? Cara?"

"Kaylee!" I could hear in her voice that she had been crying. Everything inside me tensed. "What happened?" I whispered.

I heard her swallow, searching for words. Then: "They found Jessy today. She's been murdered, Kaylee." Her voice broke and I felt my eyes filling up with tears. "No!...No!" I whispered, my fingers trembling as I wiped the tears away. "There must be a misunderstanding, Cara! I...She can't be... She..."

Cara interrupted, her voice thick with unshed tears. "I was asked to identify her. It was her."

We both started crying and I wished more than anything to be beside her, so we could hold each other and support us through that. But at this moment nearly 5000 miles separated us, leaving each of us to deal with the pain on her own.