Through Time Again

Ch.16 Moonshine Angel

June 20, 1933

Ma Fran's Boardinghouse...

Ma took the news of Anet's sudden resurrection as expected.

"I figured I'd save you the heart-attack when she stops by."

"I'm glad you did, my boy," she laughed. "But..."

"But what?"

"I just don't understand your attitude about this."

"Attitude?"

That look, "I thought you were in love with Anet."

"It's been 5 years. I've moved on with my life."

"Don't act like all there was between you two was only a mild flirtation. You may not have told me, but I have eyes and ears. You were never more yourself than you were with Anet."

"That part of me died when she died."

"Don't be so dramatic, Thomas. She's alive! So what does that say about your 'shattered soul'?" she teased, but she didn't know how much Anet's supposed death had shattered him. Ma would never know the things he did to overshadow that pain.

"Ma, she hated the way I strung dames along when she first met me —I've been pushing women around like a soulless bastard. She'd hate me if she knew."

"I'm sure she already knows, Thomas. She's always been able to read you like a book."

"That doesn't make me feel any better." He hoped Ma wasn't right. Anet knew the things he did in Maggio's gang. He wasn't exaggerating being a soulless bastard. He'd began caring less and less about the things he did. The people he hurt... He went a whole year wanting others to feel the pain and loss he felt. It was worse than what happened with Peg...

Vic had managed to claw out of it faster than he had, and was back to managing Tommy's actions, like before. He never told Vic how deep his and Anet's relationship really went, but when Vic handled him the same way he had handled him after Peg...Tommy wondered if Vic had an idea.

They never talked about Anet after she'd left. He hadn't wanted to be the shell Vic was when Vic lost Graziella; holding onto a memory, being miserable when no one looked, never being quite over her. No, Tommy had done his very best to forget all about Anet...

He felt heartless, because she wasn't just a sweetheart. She'd meant more to him that any dame he'd ever cared about. She was more than a friend, more than a secret lover...she was—

"What'd you do when you saw her again?" Ma broke into his thoughts with that pointed question. And he knew she seemed to know exactly how he'd reacted.

"She was fainted. I didn't do anything."

That raised brow. "Didn't you see her again after?"

Guilty look.

Ma laughed.

"Ma. I can't pick up where we left off! It's not that simple!"

Ma's pursed lips. "I don't see why not. I think you just like to feel like some tortured soul!"

"Ma."

"Are you happy with the way you've been living without her?"

"No, but—,"

"Thomas, I've known you your whole life. I know when you're yourself and when you're not. I know you carry a lot of pain and burdens in your heart, and I know there's only so much I can do. But even though you and Anet had your rough patches, you two pulled through. I saw it in the days before she was lost. You can have that again."