I don't know what it is about Will. My other siblings too but especially him. It just kills me to see him hurt at all. Emotionally or physically. I always want to do something. To fix it. And I feel dumb saying it because he's my brother and I know some siblings are close but I think we're closer than most. Again I wonder if being aromantic, not really caring about romantic love until everyone else was dating someone, has anything to do with it. Again I feel dumb saying that. But platonic love is nice too. It doesn't have you off doing crazy things, most of the time. After the war he held the cabin together. And like I said I always looked up to him. But still he's just my brother, isn't he? No. He's more than that, my best friend and one of the few people I really trust, the only one I know will always be there, whether it's to cheer me up or for reassurance. I feel embarrassed to admit how much I think I need him, how willingly I'd do anything, give up anything in the world if I knew it would help him at all in any way. I feel the same for Vie and yet somehow on a different level. Maybe it's because when something is bothering Vie they keep it inside, meanwhile Will is hardly ever secret about how he feels, which is something I like about him. He doesn't pretend. Doesn't sugarcoat anything. He treats me like we're the same age, even though he's three years older. Like equals. And yes, sometimes I hate that because I don't understand things sometimes and he makes me feel stupid, but I know he doesn't mean to. My favorite thing is when we can forget about the serious stuff and just be a brother and sister who goof off and pretend-fight with each other. Earlier Will said Mary drew him a picture and he said maybe he'll draw me a picture and we can hang it up on my wall. Still not sure if he was being serious or not but I think it's funny, since I've never seen him draw more than a stick figure. Who knows, maybe he's hiding a talent I don't know about.
