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❀Song for this chapter❀
Love Story but Taylor SwiftMarry me Juliet
You'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
16 July 2020
Emersyn RipleyTurbulence is the worst part of flying, worse than having to sit on a private jet with just my father who isn't comforting at all. He shot me a look when I gasped at the first feelings of the plane shaking, hating that I interrupted whatever show he's busy watching.
The flight is long, the time in the air leaves me in my own thoughts because there simply isn't anything else to do. I can't focus on watching a movie, certain scenes make me think harder and I end up zoning completely out.
I wish Koen could've come just so I had some company, I fear this entire trip I'll be overthinking with zero distractions. Koen has such a loving personality and never fails to light up the room he's in. I adore that about him.
I just know he would've spent the few days teasing me about my relationship with Harry, having to explain to him why Harry and I can't just be together happily because sadly it's not as easy as he thinks.
I'll be gaining control of everything to do with my surname in just under a year when I turn twenty, my family's name will be reliant on how I act and who I associate myself with. It won't be the best if I am openly dating Harry Styles, a man my family hates.
Which is why we just can't, I'll be forced into a marriage no matter how much hatred I portray towards the arrangements. I have no choice in anything in my life except my relationship with Harry, he allows me to choose how I love him, how I act around him and I feel free with him.
I've always been conditioned and manipulated into believing this is all normal but I'm also alive during a time where social media is easily accessible and easily hidden. I can see people my age travelling the world, attending schools, hanging out with friends and know I was deprived of that.
Although, Harry's helping me experience things I never thought I would. I got my nipple fucking pierced and a tattoo on my ribs, both of which are healing nicely, Zara texting me to make sure I keep up with the cleaning process.
Harry also kept the jewellery through his nipple, going back and getting his other pierced a few days ago because he thought it would look better. I teased and asked if he'd get his other two done which resulted in him throwing me on his bed and attacking me in kisses until I apologised.
I love the simple moments between us, the times when nothing else matters but being with each other, the times our negative thoughts about what happens to us as consequences for our relationship disappear.
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