'A shameful tragedy it is that our stars failed to align, even though the record will show that we tried so many times.'
We're taught to fear the monsters in the dark, the ones that chase you up the stairs, the ones that hide under your bed but what...
❀The italics at the beginning of this chapter are not extracts from Emersyn's journal!❀
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17 July 2020 Emersyn Styles
"It says to pee on the end then wait three minutes for the accurate results to show." Harry holds the white box in his hand, reading the back of it while I sit on the countertop taking in exactly what he's saying.
He digs his nail into the little piece of sellotape, effortlessly slicing through it before pulling the box open and reaching inside for one of the plastic wrapped pregnancy tests.
I gulp at the sight, nerves beginning to bubble up through my system because the small piece of hard plastic inside the wrapper will reveal the fate of Harry and I's lives as a couple. I was ignorant to the symptoms that have been wrecking my body for weeks, the thought of having a child is absolutely terrifying right now.
Harry talked me into finally taking the step of buying a test. It's been in the bathroom drawer for three days because everytime I get close to actually taking it, I chicken out. He's beginning to grow increasingly worried about me, we need the answer if I'm actually pregnant or if something else is going on.
I think it's pretty obvious what the answer is but the confirmation will finally allow the reality to sink in.
He tears the wrapper open and pulls the simple stick out, holding it between his pink painted fingernails in my direction. I'm hesitant to take it, second guessing myself before sighing and finally accepting our fate that's set in stone.
And I'm absolutely terrified.
"Deep breaths, I'll be right here." His voice sounds distant because I'm so immersed in my own mind, staring at the piece of plastic now in my possession. He notices how lost I am in my own brain, "Emersyn... baby, hey."
My eyes flick up to his, seeing sympathy oozing from his irises while trying to comfort me with his pupils. "You know no matter what nothing will happen, you're safe with me, if you're pregnant then they'll be safe as well."
As much as I want to believe the words leaving his lips, it's extremely hard when I know the reality of our lives, the danger we're in because we recklessly got married one night in Vegas and didn't once consider the consequences.
"Harry this is another person we're talking about, I need to be safe for them to be safe." My voice grows stern, sometimes he thinks our lives are sunshine and happiness but I don't think he understands I'm living in constant fear.
He sighs before rolling his lips into his mouth like he's trying to bite back what he wants to say, it's always reassurance, that everything will be fine but time after time his words are proven to be lies.
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