Affluent [H.S]

Fifty Three

29 March 2021
Emersyn Styles

"Are you panicking?" Niall queries from beside me, leaning in and sliding a gentle arm around my waist.

My brows drop into a frown, thinking briefly. I'm not panicking per say, I'm not worried about myself or what I'm doing tonight but I'm stressed for Harry. He's my husband and I don't want anything bad to happen to him or Zara.

"No, I'm fine." I whisper back, inhaling deeply so my chest expands before blowing out heavily.

I was born into a burning home, Romeo, the flames engulfed the walls and blew smoke around that stayed trapped in my room clouding my vision and hurting my lungs. I thought because my house was on fire that the whole world was, but growing up I began to learn that it's not.

If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, one sentence to stick with them it would be - 'It gets better, someone will save you.' - I wish back then I'd understand those feelings wouldn't last forever, that the smoke would part and give me a view on a clearer road ahead. One of joy and optimism, one of endearment and tranquillity, feelings I was never allowed to feel as a child.

That night felt like being trapped back in that burning building and the walls were beginning to fall around me, flames everywhere and no way for me to escape. I couldn't see the vision of someone racing to my aid, the once bright future I'd dreamed of have been clouded with thick fog and lost in a daydream.

I don't think my body was ever extinguished from the flames, I still feel the pain and there's no longer the beautiful sunset waiting for me, just the colours of the fire dancing around my exhausted body.

"Are you sure?" He's not convinced.

Harry and Zara left about half an hour ago, we're waiting for their go ahead so we can leave. They need Max's location to make sure that the three of us will be safe approaching the home, I'm scared for them being so far away. I can reach for them, they're slipping through my fingers and sinking into the cracks of the floor and that scares me.

With a small crease between my brows, I glance up at Niall beside me as he watches worriedly with the gentlest of features.

"I'm sure." I murmur softly, eyes trained on Zayn as he finishes tying up his laces ready to leave.

I've just finished feeding Oakley, she's cuddled up in Anne's arms right now while we all prepare to leave. I hate being away from my baby, it's the worst pain to exist - what if she needs me and I'm not here? I want to be right there at any given hour no matter where I am in the world for the rest of her life.

He slaps his hands softly against his thighs before standing up in his black skinny jeans and dark grey jumper, walking over to stand in front of me just a foot away. "If you're scared but pretending not to be, just know you'll be perfectly fine, no one is touching a single strand of your hair tonight."