𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚙𝚎𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚘𝚗 | A Nakahara Chuuya Fanfic

{ 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗 }

୨⎯ 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 ⎯୧

With the child missing, it felt like the private inn has became quiet and empty. As for the man who loved Aya the most, it was very much worst for him that no other pain could compare.

You didn't know what kind of emotion to express nor do you want to show in front of everyone. Bottling up your feelings deep down was something you've always been good at.

What kind of angel are you when you couldn't save a child? If you can't accomplish this simple task, do you even deserve the recognition for the successful abomination you have caused to the enemy organization?

As you stand in front of the bathroom mirror, you mumbled to yourself while staring into that nobody's eyes, "I'm no savior. I'm still...the same. I don't know anything but to handle weapon."

At that point, you began to shed tears, crying as quiet as you could for no one to hear and listen to. It was as if you just went back in time where you would cry every single night.

That heavy feeling of sorrow just came flooding your chest as you felt the sting in your heart piercing right through, creating a huge tear in the middle. A tear that's enough for your heart to fully cut in half.

With your eyes overflowing and your head aching, you didn't have the courage to step out of your room. It may cause a worry to your partner but who cares? At least you know the three of you are grieving the loss of a member.

Putting an end to your weep, you opened your small pouch that you always carry (of course not when you're out on a mission) and got a hold of the book that your younger brother gave you, rereading it to find comfort.

Searching for a particular page, you scanned with your finger that one line that struck you the most. You read it, your pointer finger moving along the words you mention,

"As the moon shines, rose a wave of portraits. The glistening ocean carries these portraits that beholds every detail of a figure. With no light, there is no presence of hope. An angel sent from above can be the only defender to close the never ending loop of darkness beneath the body of water."

You stood up from the side of the bed and opened the curtains covering the blinding yellow light of the sun. This huge flaming star burning your eyes shouldn't be overthrown by the lurking darkness.

...and so does the innocent one.

Dazai found you scanning a book by the free backyard of the inn. He sat down on a chair next to you with the round table being in between.

You glanced at him, seeing how he presented a lifted smile to his face. Has he already regained sanity from the total defeat a while ago?

You glued your eyes back to the book then he suddenly spoke, his smile didn't disappear, "Finding comfort inside that precious book of yours?"

You were just silent. He continued on with his sentence as he stared at the light in front, "If you ever think that your life's going backwards, that's not true. It just takes time for you to see the results you're expecting."

Now, Dazai took the chance to gaze at you. He indeed had a smile but his eyes only showed pure sadness. "Y/n, you could always ask for help to me or to Atsushi or to anyone. Just speak your heart out to us..!"

You turned your head at a slow pace, your hands trembling from the pounding of your heart as it avoided to show its true emotion.

In the end, you concealed your distress with a smile, closing your eyes shut. "Thank you, Dazai. I appreciate your approach but I'm fine."