Poeticcharmer

Brother Ives

I wanna love you, but if I do you'll die,
It's best to move on, but if you do I'll cry.
So I enjoy each moment, holding on I'll try,
I will not be lonely, tell myself that lie.
Locked in the bathroom, taking pills I fear,
My inability to help you bring myself to tears.
Couldn't stand to lose you, kicked in the door,
I found you lying on the bathroom floor.
Tears filled my eyes, fell to my knees,
Found some melatonin, didn't knew you had these.
Should have seen the signs of cuts on your wrists,
How could I been so blind, that's not a clue I'd miss.

It felt so unreal, watching you go in the ground,
Couldn't accept what happened, I made no sound.
But an inch below the surface, I torn apart,
You reached the finish line before I start.
How am I to continue running alone,
I can't go back to that house it was never a home.

Left to the mountains, in the hills I screamed,
Please wake me up, I'm hoping I'd dreamed.
My chest pains me, I'm hurt to the core,
You were once in my arms, not anymore

Your parents didn't take it likely, niether did I,
Everything reminds me of you, everyday I cried.

Packing up your clothes, I caught your scent,
Feeling saudae, don't know what that meant.
"Love isn't real" then what do I feel inside?!
Are you telling me that my heart had lied?

Do you know how it feels when you're completely isolated,
And they're words of comfort gets you agitated.
I get that your trying to help, but please don't,
You're trying to ease my burden but deep down it won't.

Your birthday is coming up in in few,
It reminds me of how much I have loved you.
I remember going for Ice cream in the park,

We got soaked, cause I was anticipating when the rain would start.
Your hair got wet, such I sight I'd miss,
So nostalgic remembering our first kiss.

Now a single tear, flows from my eye,
Reality hits, that your now in the sky.
I still can't believe that my baby is gone,
Friends told me I should, but I can't move on.

Felt a aching pain, upon my lips,
I opened my eyes and your lips I kissed.
I thanked the Lord, for it was all a dream,
I held you close, you made a small scream.
For hours I stared, you noticed my smile,
For I've been appreciating you for a while.

Jumped up, head in the bathroom and took out the pills,
Talked about our issues, we paid all the bills.
Changed what would have been, into what should be,
For I could bare to the heat to sip that tea.
Everyday going onward, I'm thankful for our lives,
My name is Tremar Ivey, but she calls me Ives.

~Tremar Ivey~