Bitter Hope

Chapter 17 - Mara Rizzo

The last two weeks had been torture. Every morning Kiko and dad woke me up at 6am to go for a jog. I didn't mind going for a jog. In fact, I liked running but waking up early wasn't something I enjoyed at all. On top of that, the serious lack of coffee in this house was enough to leave me wanting to murder everyone who talked to me before noon. After our hour jog that always turned into a run that left me unable to breath, we finally got home where I had an hour to shower and get ready for the tutor who would come to the house at 8am. She was a nice lady, but I couldn't help but get angry every time I saw her.

I was really struggling with learning Japanese. I was able to understand enough to understand what was going on around me but really struggled with speaking it. She constantly reminded me of that, making me feel like an idiot. How was I supposed to go to school here if I can't even speak the language? I would get an hour lunch break where I would have to force myself to eat. The stress of letting down my family was waying on me. On the plus side I have lost six pounds in these last two weeks. After lunch I would go back to failing to do one single task. At 4pm she would finally leave, and I would be forced to sit with my family and have dinner.

Their eyes were on me every dinner. Kiko noticed very early on that I had not been eating a lot which made dad stare at me like a hawk while I forced myself to shove food down my throat. I don't know what was wrong with me. I had never had an issue with eating before. Growing up on the streets I would go days without eating but now that I had food regularly available, I couldn't bring myself to eat it. I told myself it was guilt that I felt about the amount of food we wasted but in reality, it was my nerves. I was so nervous I was going to fail and let my new family down that I was constantly nauseous.

After our awkward family dinners at six pm sharp training with the three of us would start training until nine. I don't know what I expected but the constant corrections on everything I did was driving me crazy. No matter what I did it was not good enough. I was not controlled enough, and when I tried to be better, I was too controlled. The only times my quirk worked was when I let go of all control and let it come naturally. When I tried to be in more control my quirk wouldn't work right, or work at all. I was starting to become worried that I was going to flunk the entrance exam just like everyone thought I was going to. I should have just taken the recommendation. On the plus size my hand-to-hand combat skills have improved to not sucking.

The only good thing was today was the last day of my punishment so I would be getting my phone back. Not that I had anyone to talk to, but the internet would make my life slightly less boring.

"Mara, we have to go." My dad called from the other room.

Today was the day I took my exams to see if I would be allowed to go to school at all. I was going to see if I was able to cram years' worth of schoolwork into two weeks of extensive tutoring.

"I'm ready. We can go." I told him as I grabbed my jacket and pulled it over my shoulders.

"Are you not going to eat anything?" Kiko asked as she entered the room from the kitchen.

I could smell the food that the two of them had made and it smelled delicious. I also knew if I ate anything before the test, I probably was going to throw up.

"I'm not hungry." I answered her.

I watched as she looked at our dad with a worried look on her face that he seemed to share.

"You never seem to be hungry." She told me.

"Look, it's not like I'm anorexic or anything I'm just too nervous to eat." I snapped at her.

I was getting sick of people bothering me about how much I eat or do not eat.

"Lets not fight. You need to focus on the task at hand. Passing this test." He told me.