⚠️️ WARNING ⚠️
This part is with self harm and suicidal thoughts!!! And swearing.
Y/n's POV
I ran to find Hermione, Ron and Harry. I needed them...I needed them...I needed them!!! What is life if no one likes you? Well I have Draco but this is just not it. I ran even faster. I needed to find them before Herbology. I hate my life and I hate living...
Then I saw Hermione, Ron and Harry. I walked in and over to them.
"What are you doing here y/n" Harry said in a irritated voice.
"I just wanted to ask if you were mad at me.." I said with a normal voice.
"I'm not" Hermione said and gave me a little smile "it's you there should be angry not us"
"But I am!" Harry said.
"Why?" I said.
"You were with Malfoy" Harry said.
"For just a few days ago you guys were COMPLETELY fine with who I wanted to be friends with...but NOW I just can't" I said and felt the tears "NOW it isn't what matters for me and what matters in my life. Course that's just "not" important" I said with a shaky voice "NOW is my life just not important" I looked at Harry angrily "THIS IS MY FUCKING LIFE!!! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT, I CAN TALK TO WHO I WANT, I CAN DATE WHO I WANT, I CAN BE FRIENDS WITH WHO I WANT!!! NO ONE...NOT A SINGLE PERSON SHALL SAY WHAT I CAN AND CAN'T! I CAME HERE TO YOU GUYS TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T HATE ME. BUT LIFE ISN'T WORTH LIVING IF THIS IS LIFE. I HAVE TRIED MY HOLE LIFE TO HAVE A NORMAL LIFE...BUT NO. I CAN NEVER DO SOMETHING ON MY OWN CAN I?" I tried to breath and not cry but I felt the tears roll down my cheeks.
"You don't wanna live?" Ron said with a little voice.
"And you hate your life?" Hermione said with a shocked look on her face.
"And all you could think of was coming to know how we feel?" Harry said and I felt that he felt horrible.
"You know what...it doesn't even matter. I haven't got enough out of my life, have I? I haven't been hurt enough, have I? I'm only overreacting...I'm always overreacting" I said with a depressed look on my face "I try my best. I try to be friendly to everyone, I even got friends with the Slytherins" I looked them in the eyes "I'm trying EVERY day not to think about the bad things about my life...I try EVERY SINGLE day not to kill myself. Because I feel I have something to live for...but that is just not enough. I don't wanna live. I'm eleven years old but I'm eleven AND depressed. I can't live my life like this" I looked away and walked over to the door but then saw Draco with a shocked look on his face
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Draco's POV
"I can't live my life like this" y/n said.
I felt my heart break. I have heard everything. I could feel there was something wrong so I followed her. And this is what she says. I can't believe it.
"Y/n...." I said.
"Draco I shouldn't...I'm sorry you heard all that" y/n said.
"No...y/n. It's okay. Okay? Just come with me..." I said with a shaky voice.
We walked to a corridor.
"Y/n I love you...more than everything else. We have bin together in two day now and I can't believe I'm with you. I love you and right now I can't see myself live without you. Course...what is life without you...?" I said and tried to calm down.
"Oh Draco...I love you so much your the only thing there's making me live right now. I love you and if I could I would spend my last hours in your arms" y/n said and looked up. I kissed her. She's so sweet and I can't believe she has that kind of thoughts. I love her and I will never loose her.
"I...I need to go to my dorm, so I can get ready for next class.." y/n said with tears in her eyes.
"Ofcourse, and remember...I love you. Always. Forever." I said.
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Y/n's POV
"Ofcourse, and remember...I love you. Always. Forever." He said and it make me give him a little smile.
"I love you too" I said and he kissed me on my forehead. "See ya at Herbology"
"See you" he said.
I walked up to my dorm and when I came into my room I threw myself into the bed. I hate living. But I love Draco. I hate to fucking living...but I love Draco SO FUCKING MUCH. I hate myself. I saw a knife laying at my table and I took it. No. Yes. No. Yes. NO. YES. I took the knife and cut a big X on my arm it hurt but it made my feel better. I have a scar from last time I did it. I did it right after I was bullied. It made me feel better like I have punished myself and I could feel good about myself. But I swore to myself that I wouldn't do it again...but it's not the same...Not anymore.
I cleaned the wound there was a lot of blood, I cut very deep this time so I put a bandage on.I walked down to Herbology. And saw Draco, Pansy and Blaise standing side by side.
"I heard what happend y/n...are you okay?" Pansy asked.
"Yeah I'm okay...I just don't hope dad's going to find out course then I'm dead..." I said and looked down.
Me, Draco, Blaise and Pansy was together in Herbology and I was beginning to feel better. I saw Harry, Hermione and Ron looking at me with pity eyes. I wanna be friends with them so badly but I want to have friends there are there for me when I need them. And I want to have friends there don't look down at who I am but seeing who I really am and respect that.
This is my life and this is what I am. Me. I'm just me...
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I hope that none of you have that kind of experience like cutting in yourself it's not good it's only bad. Self harm are not good. Please keep yourself safe. And don't hurt yourself.
Thanks for reading so long and sorry for grammatical fails.
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FanficYou are Y/N Snape and it's your first year at Hogwarts. Your Snape's daughter. Your mom died when she gave birth to you, and your really close to your dad and your the only one there can make him smile. You fall in love with Draco Malfoy, but you da...
