The way that it should have been

Chapter 31

Having two separate worlds constantly playing tug of war with her body, mind and soul had to be excruciatingly painful for her. I just don't see how she does it, how she can stand it.

I hope that someday I can be as strong, selfless, loving, kind and amazing as Roza is. And find a man who loves me as deeply, totally, completely, and desperately as my big brother loves Roza.

Even after everything that she has been through and is still to this very day going through. She still pays it as little attention as possible. And she does everything in her power to keep those that she loves and cares about just as safe, healthy, and as happy as possible. She pushes her problems to the side and deals with and tries to help and solve everyone else's problems.

And even knowing that she will not ever be a guardian, she still puts everyone else's wants and needs above her own. She still trains for hours every day, even while she has been here in Baia, to keep her skills as top notch as possible just in case she, or anyone that she loves and cares about, was to ever need her and her skills.

If I knew that I would not ever be able to be guardian, I sure as ad would not train eight to ten hours a day during the week and then another ten to twelve hours a day on the weekends. There is just no way in ad that I could force myself to do that. Ad I don't even train for four hours a day during the week now and not at all on the weekends and that is just because I have to. I've always known that I would not be allowed to become a guardian. Because that is just the way that it is in my family, no female becomes a guardian. But I still hope that I am able to change babushka and mama's minds and become a guardian anyway. Which means just before my senior year I will have to talk to them again and beg them to let me become a guardian. Which also means that I should probably start taking my training more seriously just in case they relent. (hell, hell, hell)

I wonder if Roza and Dimka will keep up that training regimen once they get back and settled into the academy life again. I mean now that she will know that she can't be a guardian, that she is a princess who will eventually become queen. Will she still continue to train regardless of all of that? It is such a shame that the royals, aside from Roza and Abe, don't have a work ethic like theirs. (hell, hell)

"Roza explained that she was brought back to life after the crash, but she didn't go into any great amount of detail about it." I said.

"She doesn't usually go into detail about it because it scares some people when they find out exactly what happened to her. And some... it even makes them scared of her. It makes them not want to be around her it makes them afraid of what she is capable of doing and that is just stupid in my honest opinion. I mean would you be afraid of, and keep your distance from, someone who was brought back to life with CPR or a defibrillator?"

"It's just ignorance on their part Abe. They don't know what they are missing out on by not getting to know and loving her. And anyone who treats her that way doesn't deserve the gift of knowing and being in her life or having her in theirs." My mother tried to comfort Abe.

"I know Olena, I know. But this is my kiz bebek that they are treating like she is some kind of a monster or a freak. Like she is lanet Frankenstein, a zombie or some other bok like that. And every time that someone does it, it hurts her more and more deeply and she has already been through far too much as it is." (baby girl, fucking, shit)

"Yes, she has. And she will go through no more without all of us right by her side."

"Thank you, Olena."

"She's my daughter now too Abe. Like mama said, just as she always should have been."

He just nodded.