that concludes hoax! wow, i honestly don't know what to say here. i'm already crying just writing this. i love this story so much. i love these characters so much. i love malakai so much. i've based her so much off myself that i feel like she's engrained into who i am. i don't think i'm ready to let her go. i think it hurt me most when i was writing the epilogue and i didn't have to put a reminder that italics means malakai is using sign language, because i realised she wasn't in it. or when i realised that nikolai would have probably been the one to tell their mother that malakai was gone. or that kaz ended up in the same situation he had begun with, alone.
this is my first ever book, so it's not perfect, it's far from it. in fact, if i read it through again i'll probably pick apart every part of it. but that's what i love so much about it. i'm learning and growing, as a young person, and as a writer in such a fun, loving and vibrant community of readers and authors alike.
so i dedicate this to you, yes you, the beautiful soul reading this, because you are so so important. so important to me, to this fandom, to this community, to this family and to the world. take this as your sign to keep going. be unapologetically human. dance in the rain. follow your dreams. go buy that shirt you've been wanting. move to a new country. start writing that book. tell them you love them. kiss them. hug them. while you still can. wherever you may be, who ever you may become, you will always be so very incredibly loved. you can come back here, to this story, in ten years time, and it will still be the same. malakai will still be a selfless, sassy and strong woman. she will still be a saint and a princess of ravka. she will still adore drawing and her friends. she will still be sixteen. and you will still be loved. nothing will ever change that.
so if you are returning, hi! how are you? welcome home! i hope that everything you have ever wanted has found it's way to you. i hope that you have found your people, like the crows have with eachother. i hope that someone is loving you the same way kaz loves malakai. and if you are returning in hard times. i hope that you can feel the love in this book again. i hope that what you are experiencing will pass. but i promise you, this is going to feel different someday. it will lose its hold on your breath... even this.
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never forget that love is not a weakness. love is our strength. it's what holds us all together. it gives us something to lose and it gives us a reason to stay.
so please, stay.
crows take care of one another. and always remember a kind face.
my door is always open if you ever need me.
thank you for being here, always,
love from valerie <3
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hoax | kaz brekker
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