A day in the life (fruk)

14

I sat still, holding my head. The high feeling had gone away, and I was in the aftermath feeling. Usually, I would feel calm and easygoing during this stage, but I was alone with my thoughts and fell into despair again. I managed to make it to the location the boys gave everyone. The only problem was Francis suggested we go together, so we did. In silence...

We drove silently because we had finished hitting each other at the meeting, which was a bit awkward. It makes me wonder how much more toxic our relationship could get if we were to have the chance to be together. I suggested I drive, especially since Francis was still feeling the effects.

As I parked in the car park, I sat silently and stared at the giant neon sign. It read, 'Roller Palooza.' It had a giant skate in the front. It finally hit me where the so-called after-party was being held. It was at a skating rink.

"Hey...sorry about putting you in a headlock; I tried to mess with you but got carried away."

"It's fine...I'm sure everyone didn't think it was off behaviour for us..."

"Yeah..."

I stopped the car, and we both looked at the building. I wondered what it would take for me to die. But if I die, so will my country; I can't let that happen. Having this thought was selfish enough.

I hated my life but loved the aspects of it. The elements of Francis speaking sweet words to me, him holding me, and doing so much more. Me being naive to how I felt, and more. I wish I could be naive again; that way, these feelings wouldn't weigh so much on my shoulders.

"I have a question," I started. We turned to each other, and he nodded. "What is it?" He asked. His facial expression was like he was hoping for me to confess or ask for a confession. To ask him if he loved me...but I wasn't going to do that.

"Do you ever...think of the past very much?" I asked. He lifted a brow slowly. He was silent, turning back toward the direction of the building. "Well, that's very hard to answer...I do, and I don't...it's sometimes, but also most times? It doesn't make me feel a certain way now. Only because I've talked about what's happened with the boys, so it's nice to release some of that tension. However, sometimes I remember something, and I say, "Wow, that really happened!" And it's hard, especially the ugly things. Being held captive by Mr. Germany wasn't easy. Being stabbed multiple times, seeing the evolution of humanity, and the worst of all...fighting with you..."

My eyes widened, and he turned toward me slowly. "Seriously? You think of those things? But how does it make you feel?" I asked. I tried to ignore how he thought of us fighting many times. I had thought of it quite often as well.

"How it makes me feel? It's like I said...I don't think I feel anything toward it anymore because I've accepted it...however, I will never forget. If you are worried about your feelings, know it is normal. We all have gotten this way. Spain, Prussia, Alfred, Matthew, even Seychelles...is this what has been wrong with you lately? You've been thinking about it?"

I felt my face grow still as I looked at him. He was right on the mark, but I wouldn't tell him that. I didn't need him worrying about me. I didn't need anyone worrying about me. I was going to be fine, as I usually was. I have only dealt with it in my own way and will continue to do so.

"No...I was only curious. Thank you," I smiled. He smiled back at me, and I felt that tension again. It was in moments like this, when we stopped to talk, that we felt it. I knew he did as much as I did. How much I wanted to tell him how much I loved him. For how long I've loved, and for how long I will still love him. "We are strange creatures, huh?" He asked. I smiled at him, nodding.

"The strangest..."

We both smiled at each other, and I laughed a bit. He will always be at the centre of my heart. My beautiful dumb blonde of a man. He made me question everything about myself and continues to impact me in many ways. We were connected like Earth was connected to the Sun. He was the Sun, and I was the Earth, continuously being pulled in.

"Well, we should head inside already," I smiled. He nodded in agreement, and we began to get out of the vehicle. I opened the car door, taking a deep breath. I was doing my best to prepare myself for anything tonight mentally. I can't let myself get out of control. I would not want to say anything I would regret.

We walked in front of the car, smiling, then walking ahead. "HEY! YOU BOTH ARE HERE!" I felt someone shove me, and I turned to see Spain. And behind him....was Portugal. GREAT

I WANTED TO AVOID ALL PROBLEMS! THAT IDIOT SPAIN!

"Hey...." I spoke. Francis noticed Portugal immediately, and they only glared at each other slightly. Their reactions toward each other were entirely my fault, and I take full responsibility. But things were supposed to be fine! No more fighting.

Well, that is what I hoped for.

"How about we walk in? I want to see what they have planned," I laughed. I am going to get so drunk that I won't remember anything.

Everyone agreed in silence, and we began walking toward the entrance. Portugal and I...well...we... our relationship wasn't complicated. We did mess around, but I didn't take it seriously. It was my fault he took it seriously and my fault that it hurt Francis. I knew what I was doing, and I really wanted to slap Francis across the face in this strange way.

We walked toward the door, and I began to hear the music blaring through the walls. I could hear laughter and chatting and knew many of the other nations were also there. Maybe it might be best for me to socialize with someone else tonight.

Spain opened the door for us, and I went in first. I didn't bother to see if those idiots were still staring at each other. It would only make me feel uncomfortable.

"Hello, would you like a drink?" A server spoke. I nodded quickly, taking two drinks. "Yes!" I smiled. I gulped the drinks and looked out to the room we had entered. Surely this was going to be a long night.

"Oh, wow," I spoke, Looking around.