A day in the life (fruk)

1

I want to start with a poem or something simple. Something that would clearly get my words across. No, my thoughts. It is constantly a burden, but I will live with it. I once read a poem on this particular subject before.

The idea of unrequited or forbidden love wasn't new to me. For some time, I believed that my feelings were unrequited, but I'm sure they aren't. It was a matter of who would break that barrier. However, we were both too scared to step foot into the water.

Our love was forbidden as it could get. The only thing that I have come across to explain this reads...

"Your love is a forbidden fruit
That I am so powerless to refute
It consumes me like a burning flame
And fills me with a secret shame.
For to love you is to court danger
But I am helpless to surrender
To the darkness of your alluring charms
And the danger of your loving arms.

Two hearts beat as one
In a world that does not understand
The love that we have found
In this dark and hidden land.

Our love is deemed as wrong
By those who cannot see
The beauty that it brings
To us who are meant to be.

But they know in their hearts
That our love is true
And we will fight for each other
No matter what we have to do.
In this world of academia
Where knowledge is the key
This is a love forbidden
That a few would dare to see."

Well, it is a bit stupid to feel like I were a hopeless romantic, but I suppose time does that to you. Despite everything that happened and continues to happen, I never stopped loving Francis. I am sure the universe was saying, in some sick way, that we will never be or we are never meant to be.

I won't openly express my gratitude for him, but I do my best to show that I care. It is extremely hard, and even I can try and give compliments here and there.

Francis and I, despite never saying anything to each other, knew. We knew how we truly felt. It was obvious. Life continues, and I know I must keep telling myself to move on. I've been trying! I've been trying badly to move on, but I can't. There is no one else I want to adore more than him. Even as we enter this new era, he continues to hold me in the palm of his hand.

The thought of everything makes me emotional. I have seen war multiple times, been traumatized in every way possible, tried to be tougher so I wouldn't be messed with and continuously kept up with the changing times. It was exhausting, and we all had to move on as if it were easy. Ridiculous if you ask me. I suggest having time to process everything, but we can't even have that.

There was this unspoken agreement between us that we both understood. We knew it was best not to say how we felt, and I don't mind. I am genuine when I say I don't mind our weird friendship. We are portrayed in history books as hating each other, and that is true in some cases, but we really didn't. No matter how hard we tried, we could never truly hate each other. I believe that we loved to annoy each other and still do.

Our bickering may be annoying to others, but it was a way for us to acknowledge each other. I could not explain our idiotic way of thinking, but it worked to an extent.

Then when we physically fight each other, it feels good for me to release some tension finally. Back in the sixties and seventies, he really pissed me off. He was jealous of Portugal, and my popularity but was too in denial and caught in his feelings to figure out what he wanted.

It was different now. That is what I hoped.

Once again, we have agreed to put everything behind us, but I wonder how that would turn out. I am still at the top when it comes to pop culture, music, fashion, and more, and it feels amazing rubbing it into his face at times.

I had agreed only to have a diplomatic relationship with him, but I sense there have been growing...tensions between us in recent years.

That is the simple way of putting it.

A few years back, there was a party to celebrate going into the year 1980, and it was on that day that Alfred came to Francis and me for help. He needed our help with his cold war, and although I was against it at first, I knew that the only way to stop the tensions of a possible nuclear war was to help my dear boy, even if he was an idiot at times.

I only agreed because Francis insisted, and well...It is hard for me to say no to him. He begs just as the boys did when they were younger. I suppose I have always been a sucker when the people I love beg me for things.

Despite all the trouble Alfred gets into now, I am still his ally and a father figure to Matthew and him. We are all complicated creatures who did not ask to be born a certain way. I know there were many times he did not want to do something, but he was forced like many of us. I lecture him, but I mean well.

Now, I am once again thinking of all the things that have occurred in my long life and asking myself how It has led me to this point. I think the most exciting aspect of my life is the evolution of humanity. Now I can make a simple call to Francis from my cellular device that I carry with me. I did not need to wait to get home or a call station to call him and tell him how useless he was. It was amazing! I could insult him on the go!

My purpose in life was to be a complete nuisance toward Fracncis till his feelings went away. It was the only way for me to cope with my feelings. I hope that one day in the future, we can both laugh about all of this and agree never to talk about it again.