07 // 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

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07
[memories]

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━FLOUR AND SUGAR WAS COVERING MY FACE AS I PLACED THE LAST BATCH IN THE OVEN

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FLOUR AND SUGAR WAS COVERING MY FACE AS I PLACED THE LAST BATCH IN THE OVEN. Sam's face was beaming with excitement as I wiped the sweat and other ingredients that were on my face, off.

"Can I eat them yet?" He asked as he bounced up and down.

"After this batch, you can have as many as you want, until I ask how many you've had." I said with a laugh.

"But it's gonna take so long!" He said as he slowly slid off from the counter to the floor. I rolled my eyes and went to him.

"Let's play a game." I said.

"What game?" He asked.

"20 Question." He gave me a confused expression.

"Its where you can ask anything at all about me." I said. His eyes lit up as he got up and sat at the bar.

"Can I go first?!" He asked. I nodded.

"Okay, how old are you?" He asked.

"I'm 14, soon to be 15."

"What's your favorite color?"

"Burgundy."

"What's burgundy? Wait does that count?" He asked with nervousness.

"No it doesn't count and it's a dark red."

"Then why not say dark red?"

"You're killing me Sam." I said with a laugh. He asked all those question and I smiled and answered. We reached the last 3 questions.

"Okay, have you ever had a boyfriend or a girlfriend?"

"Nope, but I wanted one so bad." I said with a laugh.

"Would you ever think about dating someone again?" He asked.

"I've thought about it every day." I said. Not literally but when I'm deep thought, I would think if I would ever find love again.

"Did you kiss my brother?" He asked. My eyes grew wide.

"What?" I asked. He had a serious expression on his face that scared me.

"Did you kiss my brother?" He repeated.

"No?" I lied.

"Okay!" He said. The timer went off and I turned it back to zero.

"YAY COOKIES!" He said. A figure walked through the door and it was Jessie.

"Something smells good in here!" She exclaimed. I pulled out the cookies from the over and placed them on the counter.

"Don't touch them yet Sam, they're still hot." I said. I took the glove off and placed in on the counter.

"I'm gonna go play until the cookies cool down." He said as he went upstairs to his room. I took a deep breath and sighed.

"Yeah, Sam can be a lot sometimes." She said.

"It's not that, I love Sam but it's not him." I said.

"What's up?" She came around the counter and stood next to me.

"Well, you know how Ron and Enid are together right?" I said.

"Yeah, they're such a cute couple." She said with a grin.

"Well, then went on a break and things weren't working out with them. So I did my best trying comfort them. The night before last night, when Pete um... you know, I talked to Ron about it. He showed me what Pete did to him so I showed what other people did to me. We related to each other so well. I was about to leave when something stopped me. I turned around and Ron kissed me, again. But this time i wasn't angry. I felt guilty. I could tell he like Enid so I left. Then some type of feeling was holding me back and I walked back in there and I kissed him." Jessie's face was just in awe.

"Then yesterday, Enid came and talked to me about how she wanted to get back together with Ron, I was happy for her but.. I didn't want her to be with him. I couldn't tell her that so she went and told Ron to come and talk to her, but before he went, he came to me. Then kissed me again and those feelings went through my brain again, but I knew I had to stop. I told him to go meet Enid and he kissed me one last time. Then they talked and Ron was happy, but I didn't feel the same about it." I said. She stood there frozen and shocked.

"I- wow um that's a lot of info to process. So he kissed you 4 times?" She asked.

"3 were intentional." I said. She hummed and stood there to process all of that.

"Do you genuinely like him?" She asked.

"Yes but I want him to be with the person he truly likes. I want him to be happy with the person that makes him the happiest." I said.

"Then ask him." She said. I tried to speak but she shushed me.

"Go to him and ask him, if he says Enid then leave it at that, but if he says you, then you tell him how you feel about him." She said. I looked at her then upstairs. I could hear his voice and I decided to be brave for once. I walked towards the stairs and looked back. Jessie gave me a thumbs up and I smiled. I went up the stairs and came to his door. I raised my hand to the door, but I hesitated. I formed my hand into a fist and knocked on the door.

"Come in." He said. I opened the door and he looked at me and smiled.

"Hey Quinn." He said as he sat up. I closed the door and pulled down on my shirt.

"This may sound weird when I say it but, who makes you the happiest in life?" I asked. He looked confused.

"Um let me rephrase, who makes you want to keep going in life, besides family." I asked. He thought for a moment.

"Enid makes me feel like I can go on." He answered. My heart shattered once I heard those words but, it was for the better.

"Why?" He asked.

"No reason." My voice broke. I opened the door and left the room while swiftly closing the door. I covered my mouth as I tried to hold it all in. I ran off to my room and slammed my door and locked it.

"I HATE THIS!" I yelled as threw myself into the wall. I felt the room shake as I balled my eyes out. Maybe it was my mental state but I felt like I was making house shake or it wasn't shaking at all. I swallowed and went to my bed. I heard a knock on my door.

"Quinn, is everything okay?" Ron said as he tried to open the door.

"Leave me alone please." I replied.

"I just want to know if you're okay."

"Why would I be okay if I know that I can't be with the person I want to care for the most." I blurted out. I covered my mouth and I heard silence.

"Ron?" I said quietly. I unlocked the door and opened it to find no one there. The door was open to his room and I slowly crept towards it. I heard sobbing and mumbling.

TW: Self Harm

"I'm just a fuck up." I heard him whisper. "I always have to fuck up everything... I'm just a stupid disappointment." He said. I heard something drop on the floor and I looked into the room, what I saw really hit back home, to the point where I started to freak out knowing that I did the same thing. I covered up my wrists and stood up.

"Ron?" I said as my lip quivered.

"You should leave." He said as he got up, blood trickling down his wrist. I stumbled back in pain as the memories flooded back to me. The cutting and the pain.

"Ron..." I said as I got close to him.

"Please, leave." He said as his voice broke.

"Let's get to the bathroom." I said as I helped him walk to the bathroom.

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