till the truth be revealed... I'll continue to love you (ON BREAK)

chapter four- a little silly billy

No One's POV:
INSERT TIME SKIP/

The two boys finally arrive at the bus stop to see their 2 friends and a fatass. Stan was on his texting someone on his phone, he had a big goofy smile on his face whenever he got a response back. Cartman had ear-plugs in and surprising wasn't bothering their taller ginger friend, instead he was eating a pop tart and chewing it very loudly. Kyle, Kyle was just staring at the ground, no phone out, no head phones in, not speaking or seemingly listening to anything around him, he just stared at the ground that was covered with snow.

No one payed any attention to how beat up and slightly dirty Butters was, this made the shorter blonde boy feel slightly unimportant in his little group, at least one person cared about the boy, the thought made him blush and smile. The taller dirty blonde was stunned that no one has said a word yet, but he wasn't going to be the first to say anything. He made his eyes focus on the shorter boy next to him studying every inch of him. The boys blonde hair somehow did not look a mess despite what occurred the other day, his teal/cyan ish sweater was a bit big on the sleeves and tiny hello kitty patch on his right arms sleeve. His face, a bright and warm smile brought upon it, his sky blue eyes shimmered as the sun hit them sadly a black and purple bruise on his left eye.

Kenneth was lost in thought while looking the younger boy before he felt eyes on him. He shifted his eyes away from one of his best friends and saw that Kyle was staring straight at him. Kenny stared back at his ginger best friend and saw dark bags under his eye lids, his skin was paler than usual and his clothes were getting baggier. He also noticed that his eyes were slightly red and dull, there was no shimmer or light in his friends eyes as there was before. Kenny raised one of his brows up and put on a questioning expression that's when Kyle broke the eye contact and pulled out his phone.

*HONK* *HONK*

The bus honked at the 5 boys and the driver opened the door to let them in. He didn't say a thing to the boys and they all just went to find their seats on the bus. Stan's eyes fell on Wendy as he parted from his friends to sit next to her and give her a morning kiss in the cheek. Wendy giggled and the other girls could be heard gushing over them. This would happen all the time when the they got back together since the two were an on and off couple for as long as anyone could remember. Cartman sat next to his girlfriend as well, no one understood why they got back together, many suggest that it was because Cartman said he would "change" for Heidi and she believed him, he didn't really change he only acted different around her, he only dropped a certain amount of pounds and still was an asshole to almost everyone.

Butters shuffled towards the back and sat by himself, Kenny saw this but thought that his best friend needed his space so he sat next to Kyle. Kyle had gotten the window seat but just stared down at dark phone, his brightness level was all the way down so it was impossible for the dirty blonde to see what he was doing. He did manage to see one thing though, Kyle was texting someone but there was no contact name, it was just a phone number and there was no photos or anything that could identify this person. The bus had at least 3 more stops before reaching the school so Kenny decided to try and talk to Kyle.

"Hey dude, I don't know what's happening with you but I just wanted to ask if you're okay." After saying that Kenny realized how stupid it was, he already knew Kyle wasn't okay but he asked anyway. Kyle's eyes seemed to widen just a bit before looking up from his phone and looking at Kenny. "Bro are you okay?, i don't know what you're on but I'm fine." Kyle said and looked at his friend with a reassuring smile. "Kyle.. he paused, "I want to help you and by the looks of it dude you aren't really taking care of yourself, but if you don't want my help then it's fine, I'll be here for you." Kenny said continuing and putting his hand on Kyle's shoulder. Kyle just smiled and nodded and before they knew it they were in front of their school and being yelled at the get out.

Kyle's POV:

Panic entered my thoughts as I hear the words coming out of one of my best friends mouth. I wanted his help but if I told him the truth he would hate me, he would tell everyone and make everyone hate me as well. He would even tell.. I stopped and realized he was looking at me waiting for a response, I tried to speak but no words came out, I wanted to scream and shout for help but instead I just smiled and nodded.

As the bus stops I rushed to be one of the first people out so I could fit into the crowd and run away. The panic and stress I was feeling made me think about things I didn't want to. I heard the voice in my head as it kept telling me things I already knew. I run and don't stop until I get to the men's restroom, I go into a stall and lock the door. "STUPID!" "STUPID!" I hit myself. "WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST TAKE HIS HELP?" "NO ONE WOULD EVER WANT TO HELP YOU, HE WAS JUST PITYING YOU." "EVERYONE HATES YOU!" "STAN WILL NEVER LOVE A F@GGOT LIKE YOU." I stop, all these things were true. Stan would never love someone like me, I'm so horrible, i just cut everyone off, im worse than cartman.

*TW SELF H@RM AND SCARS*
I pick up my bag from the floor and open the front pocket, a pocket knife and a lighter along with a tiny tub of vaseline. Pulling out the lighter I roll up my sleeve, i run my fingers over the burns and cuts i had given myself, a reminder of the punishment I had to give myself for existing. I take the lighter and put it on my skin, i felt no pain just cold tears running down my cheeks as they fell on my sweater. 1,2,3,4..5, i repeat this at least 3 times before putting the lighter back in my bag and looking up at the graffitied ceiling, I look at what I had just done to myself and I take out a pencil and stab into my new burn marks. I push down hard hoping to pierce through my skin and flesh,but then I stop.

I drop the pencil to the floor and watching as it rolled over to the next stall, which luckily no one was in. Tears start to fill my eyes as i realize that I had just done it again, im such a horrible person, things would be so much better if I was dead. I start breathing heavily as i feel the air leaving I lungs, i gasp for air and try to scream for help, but nothing came out. Gasping for air and crying I fumble to get out of the stall but I can't, i fell to the floor in the stall is was in. The stall was big but the walls around me started to cave in around me and there was nothing I could do, i try to get up but the walls almost suffocate me and my vision starts getting blurry and all I see now was just nothing, complete darkness.

(NAH THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CHAPTER ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS DURING THE SCHOOL DAY)
(i got a bit to silly mb 😭, sorry if this sucks it's currently 4 in the morning)
Words: 1378