~ Felix ~
I'm crying. Balling. Mortified. I don't even know if I can properly say what happened because it makes me want to die. I think I'm just going to hold my piss in until I get home for the rest of the school year.
I went to go pee at lunch. Part of it was trying to avoid the food, but that's not important here. I got the courage to go in the men's bathroom, which usually scares the shit out of me. I push open a stall.
And bam! There's someone in there already. The guy turns around, penis out and all, and looks right at me with a shocked and offended expression. Did I mention that when he turned, some drips of urine flung from his thang onto me? Well, I definitely didn't mention it to him.
I'm sure I had the same expression. I practically screamed, "OH MY GOD!!" I shut the door with speed and ran into another, wishing with everything in my soul that this one was empty. It was.
He then yelled at me, knowing I was in the stall next to him. "WHAT THE FUCK!? WHAT THE FUCK!? WHAT THE FUCK!?"
Maybe he's a mean guy, but honestly, he sounded more flabbergasted than mad. Well, definitely mad, but mainly flabbergasted. I would have been even more caught off guard if someone walked in on me.
"I'm so sorry! I didn't know someone was in there!" I was sitting on the toilet lid with my hands ripping through my hair. I want to die. How can I ever get over this embarrassment!?
"Sure, fag! You knew I was in here. You just wanted to see my dick, didn't you?!" He spit the words with horrible venom and a huge, nasty accusation.
My heart started beating out of my chest. No. I didn't mean to. Please don't accuse me of that. "I didn't.."
I heard his stall door open and close and water running before he gave my stall door a loud and powerful bang. Seconds later, hell was over and I heard the bathroom door signal him leaving.
That was when the tears started falling. I couldn't stop them. I didn't want to. I deserve being this embarrassed. I was the one who decided to try going into the men's restroom.
My body was racked with sobs and shaking. I realized that it's very hard to cry quietly. My whimpers echoed from me to the walls and then back to me as if I was being mocked by the building.
I also felt nasty. That was the most rational and least embarrassing emotion I was feeling. I have pee on my jacket. I need to wash it out. I need to wash my hands. Thinking of this helped me to calm down.
"You good, bro?" I was too distracted to notice a guy walk in and concernedly stare at me as I cried and washed my jacket in the sink.
I nodded without words. He appeared very skeptical but continued on to go in a stall.
When I finished and had a dripping wet jacket over my shoulders, I rushed out and down the halls to the counselor's office.
I know the stigma. People only go to the counselor if they're seeking attention. Normal people act normal and pretend they're fine. Losers have to go talk to counselors. I guess I'm a loser. Always have been. School counselors have been keeping me in one piece for years.
"Miss.?" I looked around and saw her at her desk, shoving a fat bite of salad into her face. She got surprised and almost choked on it, but eventually swallowed it.
"What's wrong, Felix?"
I'm sure my face was wet and red. Aside from my peculiarly soggy outfit. "I.. I'm so embarrassed I want to—" I cut myself off before I finished my sentence. It was an expression. If I said anything about wanting to die, it'd be taken seriously. I can't say that. I don't mean it.
"I feel so embarrassed."
"Hm." She set her platter aside. Inside, I felt guilty for interrupting her lunch with my problems. "What for? And come here. Sit down." She motioned to a nice bean bag I've sat on many times before.
I told her all about what happened, leaving out the most embarrassing, like when I got pee on me. Or when I screeched when I saw his ding-a-ling.
Now that I was a bit more collected, a new wave of wanting to die washed over me. That was Hyunjin. Wait. No. It wasn't. He was in the cafeteria. This guy was.. different. I remember.. Sam.? Hyunjin's twin? I mean, now that I think about it, they are easy to tell apart. Not by their looks, but their styles and personalities.
Hyunjin is soft and sweet. Kind and goofy. The kind you want to wrap you in a hug. Hot? Yes. But not overwhelmingly.
Sam on the other hand. He's hot hot. Almost overwhelmingly. He wears darker clothes. Looks unhappy all the time. Probably could push people down a stairwell and, not smile, but enjoy it. Sam doesn't smile. It doesn't happen. Not possible.
Hyunjin does. He smiles at you just because he can. Just so you smile back.
I realize I got distracted when the counselor's voice reaches me ears. "Felix?"
I blushed hard. "Sorry. I zoned out."
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TWINEMY (Hyunjin FF)
Fanfictionhyunjin ff "When shit happens, people usually either get mad or get sad. Like, for me, I got sad. And I'm still sad, but.. I guess you can't even get over it, if you react sadly. You smile, but it's still there. "But when you get mad.. you can't rea...