On My Own Confusions

Confusion: Seven

Resign

The meal with Lerv's family was spent with a lot of conversations. Probably catching up with the years we missed. Matagal na rin talaga simula noong huli ko silang nakita.

“Our stomach is full with food, and our soul is full of words. Gusto ko yatang dalasan ito, Leigh,” ani Tita.

My mouth hung open the moment I heard it. I mean, puwede naman po pero ’yong biyahe kasi. Deep inside, I'm chuckling trying to figure out how to answer her statement. I don't want to answer without thinking very well with my words, it might hurt her or what...

“Mahal, hindi puwede kung dadalasan natin ito. It took them an hour to finally be here. At may trabaho ang mga bata," I smiled with Tito Van's words. But I smiled after hearing their endearment. How sweet!

Sa sobrang sweet, naiinggit ako. But then, I stopped myself. I always told myself that I'm not ready for it.

I saw Tita smiled while looking at her husband. Such a lovely couple!

"Kung gano'n, should we move to Talisay? That way, we're going to see them always." Tita suggested.

That's alright, I guess. Pero paano rito?

"Ma, it's really up to you if you want to go to Talisay. Isa pa, we can visit you here but not all the time. But if you really want to see us always, then I guess your suggestion is quite the best option."

I looked at Lerv and nodded at him as a sign of approval. I mean, it's the best option, right?

I also looked at Zen across the table and saw how she was so happy while enjoying the food. She doesn't care about us. She's just there eating!

Lumalalim na ang gabi at naisipan namin na umuwi na. Though Tita and Tito suggested that we stay for the night but Lervint was the first one to disagree with the idea. It's fine with me, but I don't think it's fine for Zen. Knowing that her night routine is to read books about analytical reasoning, or even numericals before sleeping, staying here would mean a sacrifice to her.

As to why Lerv chose not to stay for the night, I don't know. I cannot tell.

"You better go now, Leigh. Lumalalim na talaga ang gabi at babiyahe pa kayo. I don't know why Lerv chose not to stay when I know that it's the best for you," paliwanag niya.

I smiled at her. "Don't worry, Tita. We will come back for an overnight stay, if it's fine with you. It's summer and I think we deserve to have a very good vacation somewhere else," I suggested.

Lumapad naman agad ang ngisi niya dahil sa sinabi ko. She turned to look at Tito before looking back at me.

"That's a great idea, Leigh. Contact us anytime. We'll be with you during your vacation," aniya.

After the quick conversation, we bid our goodbyes before we drove our way back to Talisay. That family is also a family to me. Kaya hindi maitatanong kung bakit ang gaan sa pakiramdam.

I noticed that the ride was too silent. Nobody dared to speak. Kahit si Lervint ay gano'n. Zen was in the passenger seat scrolling her phone endlessly.

"Lerv, how about we take a leave next week?" I broke the silence.

"Yeah, for what?"

"I told your parents that it's nice to have our summer vacation, I also want it before Zen leaves for the military. What do you think?"

"Hmm, quite a good idea," seryoso niyang usal habang nakatingin pa rin sa daan.

This guy! He's so jolly at times but there are times that he is this serious. Sanay naman na ako na ganito siya, pero he's more serious now. Kanina lang siya ganito.