On My Own Confusions

Confusion: Eleven

Kiss

I and Lervint aren't in good terms once again after our conversation. He's too worked up, I'm too worked up with that topic. Kapag nasasali si Rom, nagiging mainit ang usapan.

Both Lerv and I are just sitting comfortably in the living room's sofa—no one dared to speak or to utter any word.

My heart pounded when Zen came out from her room and slammed the door harshly.

"Slowly, Zen!"

"Oh, sorry."

She said apologetically while she's walking our way with a book in her hand.

The look on her face tells me that she's puzzled while looking at me and Lervint. I raised my shoulders quickly and made a face to answer her questioning look. Tinaasan niya lang din ako ng kilay.

"You both looks so tired. I suggest. . . you rest," si Zen nang nakaupo siya sa harap namin.

She's reading another book again. Sinuot niya rin ang glasses niya na ginagamit niy lamang kapag nagbabasa.

"I think I should rest, Zen." I stood up immediately.

"I'll come with you," napatingin agad ako kay Lervint pagkatapos niyang sabihin iyon.

The living room feels empty and quiet for a couple of seconds. It's so quiet that I feel like the waves from the shore is so loud in my ears.

Lerv whispered his curses. "That came out wrong. I meant. . . I would rest as well, not rest with Leigh," Lervint explained to Zen.

"Hmm, I don't mind. Both consenting adults yet has the heart of a teen and a mind of a kid. Should have an advances yet always delayed. The right choice is near but chooses someone far. I'm so sick of all of these."

Zen seemed irritated. . . and annoyed.

Pagkatapos niyang sabihin ’yon ay tumayo siya sa at lumabas sa villa.

Ano ang pinagsasabi niya? Heart of a teen? And a mind of a kid? Seriously? Sino? I won't accept it if it is me. Kung si Lervint din, ayaw din siguro tanggapin. Kung para sa aming dalawa, okay lang din.

***

Nang nakapasok ako sa kwarto ay umingay ang cellphone ko. Messages after messages. All came from different numbers. What the hell! Ano na naman ito?

Threats. Again and again. I have a feeling who's father is this pero hindi pa rin ako sigurado. Hindi pa lumampas sa isang buwan nang narinig kong nakipag-usap si Shin sa magulang niya tungkol kay Rom. It's fine to suspect someone, but I have to at least find a solid evidence.

Sa dulo ng mga mensahe ay nakita ko ang message ni Rom. He is asking me how I've been or if he is allowed to visit me here. . . obviously, hindi. I don't like him here.

I'm acting like these are all okay to me. Obviously, these threats are no longer bearable to me. Plus the fact that I come to talk to that one person earlier. He threatened me that he would get rid of Rom instead of me. Hindi ko alam ano ang punto nila sa mga ginagawa nila. I don't see any reason.

If it is about I and Rom, I don't think that they would exert a lot of effort for this. As if I and Rom are married. We are not for goodness' sake! If they want him, they could get him! He is not mine. I didn't mark him for them to be this threatened to me. Whoever their daughters are, those girls are insecure and a lot more pain in their father's ass.

I forgot all of it when I dozed off to sleep and remembered it once more the moment I opened my eyes.

It's already dark outside when I woke up. The lights though are the only thing that lights the room. If these aren't switched on, it would be a lot darker considering that it's pitch dark outside.