2 kids

Seoul

Alex.

Seoul.

What a beautiful two sided meaning. What an ironic name for someone in my situation? I wonder if someone ever came here to do some soul searching.

I may not understand the exact meaning behind this name, but I'm grasping what it radiates perfectly. I'm not sure how to put it into words, but there's something familiar about it. Unable to really label it, I've decided it must be the shared atmosphere of big cities. It wraps me in a blanket of comfort and calmness. Yet at the same time it awakes a volcano of energy, making me feel life run through my veins.

At this very right moment, this city brings me exactly what I need.

With my legs hanging over the edge, I finally get some alone time. I've been constantly surrounded by people and finding some alone time has been hard. I've been letting go of things that have been keeping me sane.

Ace's voice cuts through the air, followed by the heavy doors closing. "They should hang out warnings with our arrival. Or at least be advised to close the rooftop doors."

"Where would the fun in that be?"

He sits down next to me, exhaling deeply. "Why is your voice so emotionless?"

"I'm tired." He studies my face a while, then nods. Though his eyes convey one thing – he doesn't believe me. I stare at the ground below, wondering if we'd even finish the chorus of 'I believe I can fly' if we'd fall straight down.

"What are the others doing?" I can imagine the friendly atmosphere, the cheers and laughter of our friends, staff and management. Even though we aren't always celebrating something special after every concert, getting something to drink or light to eat after every show has become something of a tradition.

"I don't know," he tilts his head back, closing his eyes. "I ran after you; couldn't let you cause any trouble alone."

"You'd never forgive yourself for that."

"Oh never. Anything new in New York?"

"Not really," I reply. "Cal called a while ago, but everything's still the same."

It would be a lie to say we've completely moved on from our old lives. We're still linked to that place, attachments strong as ever before.

"Channel said he seems to have found replacements for us," I add. "Unlikely to actually happen."

"Replacements for us?!" He looks offended at me. "US? We're irreplaceable."

"I already passed that information on."

"It shouldn't even be passed on," he argues. "It's a known fact." I laugh at him. "Who are these.... These kids he has replaced us with?"

"I don't know. All she said was some kids that remind her of us."

Ace starts to complain again, listing countless reasons why we're irreplaceable. I let him ramble on as much as he wants, while thinking if we really aren't replaceable. In a sense we are, everyone is. Even so, we both know Calhoun would never replace us. Ace is right – it's hard to find two idiots with a talent to get into trouble and accept all the horrible people crashing at his place while respecting his rules. It's hard to find anyone who would bring that place what we gave it.

"How are you feeling?" Ace breaks the silence that fell over us when he stopped complaining. His brows raise in a silent question he has only asked aloud once before.

I roll my eyes at him. "Please stop. It's getting annoying."

"It's expected of you to be heartbroken. You don't have to pretend you're alright."